


Under my skin II

by Matthew1972



Series: Under My Skin Series [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:35:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matthew1972/pseuds/Matthew1972
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set a few moon cycles after Part 1. The future of Camelot is at stake when a dark creature disturbs Arthur's secret relation with Gwaine by revealing the knight's past in the form of a beautiful woman. For the sake of his own heart can Arthur find it within him to accept her presence in his life? Can Gwaine reconcile his past with the present? Maybe all it takes is a woman's touch…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recollection

The Camelot knights rode through the forest of Ascetir. Arthur and his men were on the way home from a mission of peace. Cenred, the neighbouring king of Essetir, had fallen at the hands of the high priestess Morgause, or so it was rumoured. His demise had brought disturbances to the border villages and so Arthur came over this way, to see if there was some way to re-establish the peace there. He had taken seven of his highest ranked knights and his servant Merlin along for the diplomatic mission. Sirs Elyan and Caridoc, helped by the Lords of his court, watched over Camelot for them.

Fortunately by the time Arthur made it to the Castle of Fyrien he learned that a new King sat upon the throne. He had never known until then Cenred had a younger half brother, but it proved to be a lucky break for Camelot. Unlike his brother Edwyn wanted more than power, for he wanted peace too and he was willing to listen to a neighbouring king.

Opening up the talks a few days ago Arthur found the solid presence of Leon at his side more than helpful. His senior knight's quiet insight and diplomatic nature as ever helped Arthur rein in his own temper when it came to tense subjects and they got passed each one. When it came to magic however they stumbled upon a major hurdle…

Edwyn saw no need to forbid sorcery; not even after all the trouble it caused between their kingdoms. "Evil has nothing to do with magic." The king tried to assure Arthur, but the sentiment didn't lie well with Leon and him. They had seen too much pain caused by the immortal enemy soldiers, who held siege to everything they held dear.

To their surprise it was Gwaine who cut the tense silence with a nonchalant remark, "I would not dismiss magic so carelessly. King Edwyn here has a point. There's more to sorcery than any of us know, or can ever hope to understand."

His knight had glanced over to Merlin, who nodded in agreement. It was the shared silent agreement between friends which made Arthur wonder what they knew that he didn't. "Do you agree, Merlin?"

Merlin shrugged. "Well, there are the druids, Sire. What they did for Leon…"

Instantly Arthur recalled the events, which led to the siege of his home town. The Cup of Life had not only brought death and destruction. Before dark magic rained down on his kingdom Leon's life got saved by the very same cup. Arthur had to admit that in the hands of the druids it had only brought light and hope. Even so it confused him to no end how the same item could be used quite so differently and yet… could not the same be said for any weapon?

Edwyn jumped on the opening given to continue their talks, "Arthur, I can accept your laws on magic are what they are. If you can accept I can live with sorcerers at my side then we have a deal. You have my word the Lady Morgana will not receive refuge here either. She has destroyed my kingdom as much as yours."

It was with his hesitant acceptance that Arthur's first peace treaty mission as King had come to a successful conclusion. They'd gathered their bags, or at least Merlin did, to ride off around noon. With their mission accomplished their spirits rose high. They rode back home safe in the knowledge Essetir would cause no more trouble for King Edwyn seemed to be a man of his word. As such, Arthur decided, he would give him a chance.

As they rode on nothing could spoil his good mood. Not even Gwaine and Merlin's endless prattle cutting through the peaceful silence of the forest annoyed Arthur today. This was just how it was on patrol ever since his lover joined the ranks. His lover; a shared glance between them showed Gwaine was as happy as he felt about their secret affair.

Arthur had gotten none the wiser as to why Gwaine had spoken up during the meeting with a point of view so radically different from his own. "I have seen a lot on my travels before I came to Camelot", came his explanation. Once more it made Arthur realise that he still didn't fully know the man he'd taken into his heart. While it scared him it at the same time made him more determined to unravel his lover further.

A loud crash in the forest put Arthur on high alert. Instantly he noticed how behind him everyone stopped talking and like one they awaited his reaction. Arthur reined in his stallion with a firm tug on the reins. As he did he signalled with his hand to the knights to draw to a halt too.

Concerned glances were shared between them. "What is out there…", Percival voiced their worry, but he faltered when a handful of druids ran out from between the trees.

Arthur noticed how their faces, while half hidden from sight by their hoods, were filled with panic. "Halt", he shouted for their attention as he dismounted. "Tell us what is out there. What are you running from?"

None of the druids seemed to listen to him… until one stopped short of the tree line on the other side of the path where his tribe had disappeared behind. Annoyed at being ignored Arthur opened his mouth. A by far too loud second howl however cut his words short and when another loud crash followed the animalistic sound he knew enough; some dangerous creature was out there. While it sounded like a wolf he had no doubt it was something else, because he knew the druids would not run out into the daylight to avoid a normal forest creature. No, this was a different beast, but what?

"A creature of dark magic", the druid finally answered. "It comes from the spirit of a lone wolf and the torn heart of a fighter. In the ancient prophecies our ancestors warn us that it is the messenger of choice on the path of destiny. It has no name for it is rarely seen. Born in conflict it will bring both chaos and death in its wake, but also rebirth. They say it won't rest until the fighter and wolf unite to mark the rise of Albion."

"Nonsense", Arthur muttered in disbelief of the ways of the Old Religion. Superstition, his father would have called it and in this instance Arthur could not help but agree. No beast could have such power that it could not be felled, could it?

Not in the least bit offended the druid smiled another mysterious smile from underneath his hood, "You will change your opinion, Arthur Pendragon. You will see…"

In the way the druid spoke his full name Arthur thought he recognized the man hidden underneath the green cloak, "Hey, don't I know you? Were you not the one who had the cup of life…" He did not get to finish his sentence when another loud howl followed by thumping footsteps announced the animal sped towards him and his knights.

"On me", Arthur's shouted order made it just in time. With a loud crash the dark, large beast jumped onto the middle of the path. It bared its teeth and growled in warning.

Dismounting in an impressive fast move Gwaine ran over to the druid and pointed him off into the forest, "Save yourself." With one graceful nod the man disappeared as fast as he could, while Gwaine ran on over to Arthur's side to join them all in the fight.

The animal before them seemed torn to Arthur; would it follow the fleeing druids or attack them? In a flash he decided he'd ensure it was the latter. While he did not approve of magic he had come to see over the last summer the druids at least were peaceful people. To watch the handful of innocents get ripped apart by an overgrown wolf covered in black fur was not something he could live with. "Hey", he shouted to gain its attention.

At his side Gwaine frowned, "Are you trying to get us killed?"

Arthur shook his head grimly at the hissed remark. "It's either us, or the druids. At least we stand a chance." While grim faces around him nodded in understanding he focussed their attention back to the task at hand. "On my command. Hold…"

The wolf growled as it took a step forward, muscles tensed in readiness to attack. One more breath and it leaped towards them without holding back. Adrenaline rushed into his veins when Arthur shouted, "Now!"

* * *

Sword at the ready Gwaine waited for the order to attack. Never one to back down from a fight he wondered what animal stood before them. The overgrown beast sounded like a wolf and even looked like one in some ways, but it was by far larger than its cousins. When sharp teeth the size of daggers showed in a snarl Gwaine could not help but worry about the odds. Eight frail humans against one seriously angry predator. Oh well, it was a good thing he liked those odds in spite of his concerns about his safety…

"Now!" The shouted order came at the same time a blurred shape of fur pounced upon them. In a quick move Gwaine struck his sword into the air. When it sliced the side of the now even more angry wolf he smiled at his luck. To his horror the resulting gash didn't even slow it down and instead it came for him again.

With a quick turn around Gwaine dodged in time to avoid a claw slashing his way. A sigh of relief escaped him, but there was no time to take it easy for the animal pounced on him once more. Not quick enough this time he felt a sharp claw bite into his hip while he got smashed into a tree by the sheer force of strong limbs. Shouts of the others reached his ears, but Gwaine could barely make sense of the world around him over the loud buzzing sound in his ears.

Loud thuds and a clang of metal followed while Gwaine tried to catch his breath and get back on his feet. His hip heaved in pain, protesting against the strain of his failed efforts. Trying again he knew he had to move even if his body didn't like it. The others; they needed his help to defeat the creature of dark magic. He had to get up… and fast, or everything would be lost.

Too late! A paw appeared in the corner of his eyes. On instinct Gwaine tried to crawl away, but a furry limb pinned him down. Unable to draw in air under the heavy weight Gwaine felt the edges of his conscience darken at an alarming speed. Sudden movement though allowed him to breathe in one painful breath, before a new burst of pain seared through his left arm and had him shout out in anguish while he let go of his sword.

Panic rushed into his mind when Gwaine felt the wolf grab a hold of him between sharp teeth and drag his body away, in spite of his protests. The muddy path below him turned into grass and ferns as the beast dragged him off at a speed which had him reeling. Where was it taking him? Before he could even worry about it he felt his exhausted body surrender to the merciful darkness of unconsciousness.

By the time he awoke Gwaine had lost sense of time… and of the world. The only thing he could hear on the edge of his fuzzy mind was a loud, lonely howl into the forest. Hurt prevented Gwaine from moving even the slightest bit. Every part of him screamed to get away and yet none of his muscles listened. The beast now breathed loudly at his side, its nearing presence put the fear into him, even when he fell back into the dreams of his pain. Maybe soon it would put him out of his misery…

"Gwaine." Her voice whispered in his ear; soft and teasing, filled with promises of delight. Hands caressed Gwaine's skin while a tongue duelled with his own in an eager to bring him pleasure. Their bodies joined, soft curves meeting his hips in a dance as ancient and natural as time itself.

A strong arm wrapped around them both while they set a rhythm to the beat of their hearts. Moans of his desperate want escaped Gwaine's lips when a hard length brushed against his entrance. He needed no warning for the pleasure it offered to give him. "Please… just do it." One grunt of lust and he got breeched in one swift roll of strong hips. The slightly burning friction made his spine tingle with need, "Yes…"

Wrapped between their naked bodies there was nowhere Gwaine would rather be. Every caress brought the three of them closer to release. His every nerve burned with nothing but want while their hips met his repeatedly in an effort to pull them all over the edge.

One blink of his eyes and suddenly they vanished as if they never even were in the bed with him. Gwaine stared into the empty room of their mansion and he was shocked to see the walls around him blacken and crumble. The echo of flames played on the edge of his mind, like an almost forgotten memory. For a moment he heard screams of anguish and he felt the searing heat of fire, but it went as quickly as it came.

"Gwaine", her eerie whisper ghosted within the ruined building and the lands around it while a cold wind blew into his hair. "Where are you? I miss you, come find me…"

With panic rising up into his throat Gwaine jumped off the bed and he ran out of the room to head downstairs. Empty… the entire ruined house; no one was around. Running into the open fields in the clothes he didn't remember putting on only the moon in the starry sky above offered him some light. What happened? Where were his lovers? Searching behind every stem of the forest beyond he carelessly wound through the trees. Until finally he found them staring up into the sky with unseeing eyes.

"No", Gwaine's choked off cry of grief echoed into the forest, but no one heard him wake from his nightmare. The only being which awaited him as he opened his eyes to the harsh truth was the dangerous predator that dragged him into its lair. The sight of the wolf staring down at him with large yellow eyes sobered Gwaine up instantly. His life… was it over? Was that what the spirits in his dream tried to tell him?

"Well, go on then…" Gwaine muttered before his world turned dark once more.

* * *

For nights she heard the howls in the distance and it seemed to her like each chilling cry to the moon reflected her self imposed loneliness. In a way she pitied the poor animal calling out in such pain, but she could also sense its darkness and that made her fear it. In her mind's eye she had seen destruction would follow in its wake. She could hear cries of men falling and of those who mourned for them. Death even now seemed to follow her. Was there no break from the curse of her magic?

Memories haunted her at night. Dreams of the husband she lost and the lover they sent away. Fools they'd been to trust in forever. Nothing lasted long in life; not even a love so deep it warmed her heart when she thought of it. Shunned by her parents she'd only known happiness with her lovers. Their passion for her outshone the sun, but it burned them far too brightly. Now they were lost to her she only had the forest left for company, because she vowed to herself that no one would ever get hurt by her presence again.

Her husband's body rested now, but she never found the peace she craved. Not even the forest could offer her everything she needed. Sure it provided her with food, water and shelter, but never with the warmth of another human being against her side. Her heart had become torn between the need for company and the fear to fall in love again…

The only other person in her life now was her dear friend Iseldir. Ever since he found her in the aftermath of her destroyed old life he offered her his friendship. With his magic he'd healed the wounds on her back, gave her a shoulder to cry on and a few moons of respite with his tribe. Inevitably though she walked off, leaving him with his druid people. More than anything she wanted to keep him safe for their kind needed him.

She never came out of her forest shelter. The arrival of the creature though she felt was about to change it. Sometimes her dreams made her see glimpses of the future and the last one showed her a town she had not seen in many years, for she'd left Camelot when she was younger. Even in the sunlight the dream left her shaken for days. The last place she ever wished to see again was Camelot. Because of Uther's laws magic had no place there and nor did she, because her family banished her for life out of fear.

In the light of the high sun the forest around her changed. Birds stopped singing and for one long moment it fell silent, far too silent. Before she heard the howls and loud crashes she felt its darkness. The beast; it called out in anger and somehow it wanted her to sympathize. She sensed its power to bring chaos, to change fate, and it scared her.

An unexpected whisper touched her mind. "Run… if you are out there, run for your life", Iseldir called out to her. Had her friend stumbled into its path?

"Where are you?" Her question remained unanswered. Unsure of his fate she ran out of her hiding place. She sensed the tribe's presence and the growing fear which surrounded them. Their magical mind whispers guided her to them, but before she reached safety she crossed the beast's path. Shocked she stopped dead in her tracks and hid behind a large oak tree. She hoped with all her heart it had not seen her…

With relief she watched it slowly stalk back to its lair, an opening between rocks. She took a few breaths to gather her courage. Finally ready to risk moving on she heard a human sounding groan of pain and a plea muttered in a bleak moment of weakness. "Well, go on then…"

That voice! Was it really the man they once loved? Recognition of his voice turned into dread. Had she finally found him, only to lose him to such darkness? Her heart broke at how cruel destiny seemed to be to everyone she once held dear.

A male voice shouted through the forest, "Gwaine!" It confirmed the truth for her.

Anxiously she watched the beast lift its furry head towards the sound. Getting up it let out a warning snarl. When the two men coming closer did not stop it ran off to greet them with more danger. Afraid of what it would do to them she at the same time realised this was her one chance to save Gwaine. The strangers running away from the scene offered a distraction, so all she needed to do was get to him before the beast returned.

With her mind made up she pushed herself away from the tree and ran to the rocks. Panting she reached his side where she dropped down to her knees and brushed a lock of dark hair from his face. Every part of him was covered in either blood or mud. Large gashes across his left hip showed he'd struggled with the beast and lost badly. A tear fell from her eyes, "Oh, Gwaine. I am so sorry. We should have never let you go."

Pain clouded eyes opened at the sound of her voice. "Avery? You came for me…"


	2. Devotion

Back on the forest path the chaos left behind made for a sad sight. Four knights lay sprawled in the middle of it, their battered bodies covered in mud and their clothes shredded to pieces. Only a Percival managed to sit up, but for how long? Arthur had no idea. All he could do to keep going was order Merlin to stay behind to take care of him and pray with a heavy heart that he would not lose more of his men.

"For once Merlin, do as you're told." Arthur breathed out an annoyed sigh at his servant's nature to always protest. Often he silently admired Merlin for his loyalty and bravado to stay at his side in spite of his lack of sword skills, but not today. Not when he had to risk everything and he couldn't afford himself the distraction of being alert for two. As it was his mind could only focus on the dreadful sight of Gwaine getting dragged away…

With one last glance over to Merlin caring for the others he set to run off, but then a dull glimmer in the mud caught his attention. Drawn to the discarded sword Arthur picked it up and as he held it he recognized the well crafted weapon as Gwaine's by the mark of a moon's crest on its grip. Damned! The look of fear in brown eyes could not be the last thing he ever saw of the man he loved. One way or the other Arthur would find him and bring him home.

Now even more determined Arthur sheathed the bloodied sword next to Excalibur and he ran off into the forest. Reason deemed it was already too late. His heart however would not give up until he had no other choice, so Arthur rushed on and ignored reason.

Behind him he heard footsteps and as he half turned in his run he realised Leon and Lancelot had come after him without order. Filled with gratitude he slowed down to allow his friends to catch up. When they reached his side he nodded to say thanks.

"We'll get him back for you, Arthur." Leon's promise offered him some hope.

"I won't order either one of you to come. This may not end well for any of us…"

Leon shook his head, "Nothing new there then." His far too true dry remark made the three of them grin despite the tension.

"We are sure. Gwaine would do the same for any of us", Lancelot readied his sword in answer. "Lead the way, Sire."

Glad to have their loyalty Arthur hurried on along the trail of damage left behind by the overgrown wolf. Ignoring how his heart beat in his stomach with fear he used the adrenaline rush to keep going. Each breath they drew could be one Gwaine didn't have. Would the beast swallow his lover whole, or was it going to wait a bit? Praying for the latter Arthur missed the knowing glances shared behind him. Both his men could see in his barely disguised fearful emotions Gwaine meant more to him than any other person…

When Arthur spotted the beast lurking between oak trees and a cluster of rocks up ahead he ordered, "Leon, stay close to me. I need you at my side when I lure it out. We will lead it further into the forest and away from everyone. Lancelot, try going around and see if you can help Gwaine. If we make it we will meet you back on the path with Merlin."

Arthur watched as Lancelot stalked onwards, trying to find a silent way to reach the rocks and the human form left discarded between them. A small breath of relief escaped him when from the distance he saw a blood covered hand move in the grass. There was a mumble too, but he could not make sense of Gwaine's words. At his side Leon grimaced, for he had noticed the sign of life as well. They shared a nod, conveying their promise that they would both risk it all for their friend once more.

A few moments had passed when Arthur deemed they could wait no longer for Lancelot to move around. "Gwaine!" His shout of distraction worked instantly. The beast growled out a warning and it ran towards them. "Go!" His next shout was for Leon, who needed no encouragement to run down the hill and away from the friends they left behind.

Fifty yards… a hundred… then five hundred… was it enough distance? Maybe not, but it was as far as they got before the large creature pounced on them with sharp teeth bared. Just in time Arthur swung his sword in the hope to wound it. Finally luck sided with them when the sharp end met fur and flesh. The wolf-like creature stumbled a few steps, but within a blink of ominous yellow eyes it recovered and snarled another warning. Growling it stalked around them, looking for a moment of weakness, or an opening left between them.

Leon came closer to stand back to back with Arthur, his sword raised. The knight's solid presence made Arthur feel confident in spite of his fear. They met the beast every step of the way. One turn to the left, to the right and then left again as it circled them. For a long moment they reached a stand off, both forces sizing the other up.

Animal instinct caused the beast to cave in first. Out of nowhere it attacked. One leap of action got followed by reaction. With a well practiced flick of his wrist Arthur defended, but he could not avoid getting hurt. Teeth grazed his side and it caused him to stumble. Leon's offered hand pulled him up in time to stand together to face another swing of claws. Arthur nodded to him in thanks and as if by unspoken order they both jumped on the beast in an attempt to gain the upper hand. All or nothing, this was the moment they'd defeat it… if it did not defeat them first.

Shouts coming out of nowhere cut the air at the same time as Excalibur. Voices of a handful of men, speaking words Arthur did not understand. The ancient feel to them though gave him the chills… until he saw they had the once-wolf falter in its attacks. It stepped backwards, head lowered in fear of the chanted spell. Soft amber light sprinkled across its fur. The magical light grew brighter and brighter, causing the beast to shrink in size. Slowly the wolf within the magical beast returned. When the lights faded out and the wounds on its flank were healed a grey wolf ran away from the small circle of cloaked figures who'd gathered around the two knights.

Too stunned to react Arthur sheathed his sword. While he did a druid stepped forward, lowering the hood of his green cloak with a bow. Slightly amused and saddened grey eyes met his before the druid spoke, "So we meet again, Arthur Pendragon. Sir knight."

Glancing over to his right he saw in Leon's awkward smile that his friend recognized the druid man too. He was none other than the man who once protected the cup of life. The druid's kindness had saved Leon's life back then. None of what happened afterwards, including the siege by the immortal soldiers, was his fault. Arthur believed now that it was just Morgana who had abused her power and helped the unfortunate circumstances along. The only strange thing about it all was that the cup went missing afterwards…

"Gwaine! We need to find him." With his adrenaline fading fast cold realisation hit Arthur.

The druid smiled, "Your knight is in safe hands. Come, we will take you to your friends."

Confused Arthur stared at him. "I don't even know your name, or why you came."

"Because you needed us to." To his annoyance Arthur found his other question remained unanswered, but he was too tired to ask a second time. It could probably wait. First he had to see that Gwaine was alive and well with his own eyes. Had Arthur not been exhausted, or hurt, he maybe would have noticed how one of the hooded men avoided eye contact, as if afraid to reveal himself. His borrowed cloak rested on lanky shoulders. Camelot's best kept secret would have to stay hidden… for now.

* * *

Gwaine fought to keep his eyes open, anything to stay with her even though deep down he knew she could not be there. "Avery, I am so sorry", the apology rolled of his tongue in regret for walking out on a good thing and not even knowing it. How could he have been so blind to what he truly felt for his lovers? How come he didn't realise how much it would hurt to lose them and not even know it until it was by far too late?

"It's okay", her soothing words followed him into darkness. Unconsciousness set in before he could even hear her add, "None of it was your fault. It's all me…"

Memories twisted in Gwaine's head, plaguing on his mind while his body rested against his will. Never before had he known regret. He'd become a man who lived for each day and sought pleasure in whatever form it came. Love always seemed just a word to him, suited to those who lived far away from what he knew. Yet in retrospect Gwaine realised he'd fallen more than once and it stunned the hell out of him.

People labelled him reckless and a flirt, but they rarely saw him for the man he truly was. It was how he preferred it. Love brought nothing but heartache; something he firmly believed in after watching his mother fade to her death. And so he tried to keep those he spent the night with away from his heart. Fate however didn't play nice, because here he was saying goodbye to life with pain in his every being for the man he'd leave behind.

"Arthur", the whisper escaped from his dreams. It was heard by the knight who appeared at the side of the woman kneeling at his side in worry. He also missed the way Avery wiped a tear away to welcome Lancelot's help without a word. The glance of sadness they shared went unseen as well. Hands lifted Gwaine up and they pulled him into safe arms with care. Pain increased on the edge of his mind, but in his deep exhaustion he could not protest. Slowly he fell further towards the darkness…

"I don't know what made you sad, but let me kiss it better", Gwaine felt a firm hand touch his shoulder and it made him smile. He wanted to speak of his past, of the fact it was the anniversary of the day he started his restless journey. The kiss though took his words away, and with them his worries. His tendency to live in the moment returned when he met the firm blue eyes of his lover and he accepted the offer of sharing his bed.

His dream shifted to one of his more heated moments with Arthur. Fights were not uncommon between them, for they were both too stubborn and proud to admit fault. As soon as they cooled down though harsh words were already forgotten and the door on the fight closed. They never stayed angry for long.

Just a few days ago however one fight became so much more than a collision of tempers. Out of nowhere angry spoken words turned into a physical fight. Hands hitting flesh, fists grabbing whatever they could and bodies clashing in a need to take the other down and prove them wrong. They'd almost gone too far… almost.

Panting harshly from the fight their eyes met. Adrenaline still rushed in Gwaine's veins when the hands on his tunic changed purpose and they began tearing away the offending fabric of his clothes. Arthur had seemed as desperate as he felt. His objection fell short instantly in favour of his need for pleasure. Their naked struggle for dominance ended with Gwaine bend over the table of Arthur's chambers by strong hands. Looking back he didn't regret he'd lost the fight before he was taken without any mercy, or any slowing down. It had felt so good when their hips met. Never before had he come that hard.

Delirious he grinned, the sound escaping to the world of the still living. The thought that somewhere beneath the deadly wounds on his battered body there were bruises left in the shape of hands and fingers amused him. Maybe there would still be the odd scratch of fingernails too. If anything Arthur had taken what he'd wanted and Gwaine would never object to that, not as long as it brought him to such heights. Maybe next time he'd win and return the favour in kind… next time.

Dreadful darkness narrowed in on him even further. Unwilling to let go Gwaine blinked in defiance. There had to be a way out, right? More than anything he wanted to live on. "As long as you draw breath never surrender", Goodwin had once explained away his own survival from a battle gone wrong. While he'd walked with a severe limp since and retired as a knight his spirit had not changed. Deep down the reserved man remained a fighter.

Sadness once more grabbed a hold of Gwaine's heart. Goodwin had not deserved to die, not for anything. Magic had caused his death, when it was not even his own gift but that of the wife he adored. Avery had never done anyone any harm and her husband had stood by her until his last breath, of this Gwaine was sure. Now he would never learn what happened to them… not if he died. No, he had to live to get his answers and to swear justice on those who burned their life down without mercy.

Determined to fight to the end Gwaine opened his eyes. This time he was met by two worried faces, but soon he saw only one. Confusion struck him at the sight of the woman he dreamt of; his past lover who should be dead and yet miraculously comforted him when he needed her most. "Shh, Gwaine. Don't move, you're hurt badly."

In spite of himself and the pain the movement caused Gwaine could not help but lift a hand up to her face. Startled he found his fingers touch an actual cheek rather than empty air. "No, it can't be…"

His whisper of disbelief made her smile through her tears. "Yes… I am alive, we both are. Fight this for me, Gwaine."

While his eyes closed in pain against his wish Gwaine mumbled his promise, "I will…"

* * *

Somewhere close to her a fire spluttered into life, but Avery did not notice how an elderly man lit it with his magic in an effort to offer everyone some comfort. All she could see was the injured man lying unconscious on a blanket before her. Kneeling in the grass she did not feel the wetness of it creep into her dress for her attention focussed solely on helping Gwaine. Sadness filled her heart at every moan of pain tumbling from his lips.

Together with the stranger, who appeared at her side in the beast's lair at the exact time she needed him, she had managed to get Gwaine to safety. Well, the man had carried him while she led them towards the druids, who sought refuge near the ruins of an old site of worship. They believed the stones placed in a circle would keep the beast away. Faith was a beautiful thing at times, but Avery did not stake her life on it. She just hoped for a safety in numbers.

They'd laid Gwaine down on a frayed blanket and undressed him as gently as they could. His clothes were a mess, his breeches hung by a thread. While she washed away the mud from his body with a piece of soft cloth the severity of his wounds sunk in. Deep gashes on Gwaine's hip and dark bruises on his side suggested he bled inside as well. There was no way she could be sure either way, not without the help of a healer.

The man at her side hissed at the sight. "We need help. My friend knows what to do." Hope filled her heart at the promise of a healer. Far too quickly however it shattered, because the stranger's eyes filled with distress. "My friends, where are they?" The question went unanswered, because none of the druids gathered around them knew.

"What is your name?", Avery asked when he turned back to her.

"Lancelot", his kind brown eyes kept drifting between Gwaine and the forest while he spoke. She realised he worried about the growls in the distance; maybe even more so than the rest of them did, because his friends were still out there amidst the danger.

"They need my help…", Lancelot made to leave but a familiar voice stopped him mid sentence just as he'd risen to his feet.

Avery looked up to find Iseldir walking over to them, unscathed safe for a tear in his green cloak. In her mind's voice she told him how happy she was to see him. Her smile at his appearance wavered when she heard Gwaine mumble a groan in pain.

"Stay with your injured friend and help Avery, please. I know you mean well, but your sword can't defeat this creature. Brought to life with magic it can only leave the world again by magic. Let us help you in our way." As quick as he'd come Iseldir left, taking four men along with him. Avery frowned when she noticed he also brought a spare cloak with him, but knowing Iseldir always had his reasons she let him leave without question.

Turning to Lancelot she offered, "Trust in him. Our chieftain knows what he does."

"I do not doubt magic, but I can not help but pray he will arrive in time for my friends. Arthur and Leon, they risked a lot to save Gwaine." Avery smiled in thanks when he kneeled back down besides her and offered, "Tell me how I can help."

In silence they started working together in an effort to stem the bleeding. All they had to do was buy time. How hard could that be? Every breath that passed though increased their worries. At times Gwaine groaned in pain as they pushed on his wounds while they bandaged them. Mumbled words that made no sense rolled of his lips at first, but the more time passed the more silent Gwaine went.

When finally he opened his eyes it was only shortly. Brown orbs filled with confusion and startled disbelief said it all. He had mourned her when he thought she was dead. Did that mean he still loved her? Avery wanted to ask more, but all she had time for was to beg him to fight. Her heart jumped when he promised, "I will…"

Gwaine had barely fallen back unconscious when Iseldir returned, his druids and a group of dishevelled looking strangers in his wake. She wasn't surprised when Lancelot jumped up to meet them. An uneasy feeling crept up on her however when the last man appeared within the stone circle. Something about his authoritative stance made her wonder who he was, while deep down a voice told her maybe she should already know.

"Where is my knight?" From a distance it nearly sounded like a demand, one Iseldir answered with a gesture of his head. Avery watched the blonde man walk over to her with quick strides before he kneeled in the grass with her. Ignoring her presence he pulled off his gloves. While he let his bare hand touch Gwaine's cheek she heard his reasons between the words spoken in a pain filled voice, "I am so sorry, please be strong. Merlin will heal you, he has to."

Out loud he repeated the name, as if an order to the healer in question to come over. For a moment his eyes lingered on her and he even nodded a silent thanks, but before she could react he turned away to get up and walk back to his men in the same assured strides. Silently Avery watched him leave with nothing but confusion on her mind. Who was this man to Gwaine, a lover perhaps? Why then had he called him 'his knight'?


	3. Confrontation

The dishevelled group of people gathered around the campfire build between the stones in a tension filled silence. Arthur sat down on a large boulder, tiredness and a deep worry catching up with him. Even from where he sat he could see that Merlin fought hard to help Gwaine; with a mess of freshly picked herbs, bandages and a bowl of water spread out at his side. The sight of blood had never made Arthur feel queasy, for it was a part of battle, but now that it belonged to the man he loved it made a big difference. The mere thought of Gwaine fighting for his life left him shaken.

With the last of his wits Arthur had ordered Leon and Lancelot to go find their horses. A young druid man had offered his help and when neither one of his knights protested he decided to let them go. For a moment he wondered if he should go after them, but Merlin had stopped him to tend to wounds Arthur had forgotten about.

Sitting in the stone littered clearing he could barely feel the stitches Merlin used to close the marks a sharp claw had left on his torso. All of his senses had gone numb, except for his eyes which remained locked on Gwaine's too quiet form. Part of him wanted to go after his knights and help them, but so far he hadn't moved because a niggling sense of unease crept up on him. The cloaked woman, who had sat with Gwaine when he arrived at the circle, had not left his side. Why not? Sure she was helping Merlin tend to him, but why would she?

Arthur continued watching the two work together. Sometimes Merlin spoke to her and then she handed him the requested item. Her eyes remained sad throughout, which confused him more than anything else. Why would she care about a stranger so much? Or did she know Gwaine? Damn… that had to be it! Jealousy bubbled up at the realisation she could be on the long list of conquests the knight always bragged about. Arthur had always known he wasn't the first person Gwaine had slept with, but he ignored the past in favour of what he had. Now when he faced losing him the truth stared him right in the face, mocking him for the fool he'd been.

Angry at himself, but at the same time curious to know what she'd been to Gwaine, he got up on his feet. Before he could walk over to her though to insist on answers the sound of hooves announced the return of his knights. Relieved Arthur noticed how Leon and Lancelot steered a couple of mares into the circle, while they each led another along. Behind them the druid struggled to get Hengroen to follow them. Arthur could not help but grin, for he knew his stallion had a stubborn streak; so much so even that Merlin once complained how evenly they were matched. Wryly Arthur admitted in his mind that maybe his servant was right for once.

Distracted by their arrival he walked over to greet his knights. "We came too late for the others, Sire. The beast struck down three of our fine horses", Leon sounded upset to Arthur and he could understand why. He'd already spotted the light brown mare of his knight had not returned either. A knight and his horse were a team on the battlefield, to tear them apart just wasn't right.

Quietly Arthur accepted Hengroen's reins from the druid man, who seemed happy to let go. To calm down his own nerves as well as those of his stallion he petted its flank. Maybe at least one thing went right for him here.

Lancelot dismounted swiftly and in a few steps he walked over to his side with a pile of bright red cloth embroidered with gold in his hands. "Amidst all the chaos we found a cloak, Sire. I believe it belongs to Gwaine, because it smells like the mead he spilled yesterday."

With a wry smile Arthur accepted the undamaged cloth. He shook his head in dismay; not understanding how come the beast had left no marking or mud on the fabric where it had torn its owner to shreds. Sometimes fate made no sense to him for its cruelty.

"You are knights of Camelot?" The voice of the mystery woman broke into his thoughts. When Arthur looked up he saw she now stood in the centre of the circle, several feet away from where she'd knelt in the grass earlier. He could see her face, but where he saw beauty he also saw contempt and a look of shock.

Stepping forward he nodded, "We are. I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. These men are my knights, well aside from Merlin that is." Seeing her fear he added, "I promise you, we mean you druids no harm."

"You…" Contempt turned into anger while her words faltered. For a moment she looked away, staring at Gwaine with tears in her eyes. His still unconscious state offered her no comfort and only seemed to upset her even further. "No harm? You and your ways, your kind took everything from me with your hatred."

"What… that is", Arthur didn't get much further in his attempt to defend himself.

"No, don't you dare say a word…" She took a step backwards. Then, changing her mind, she asked, "Tell me, is Gwaine one of your knights too?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes as he answered with pride, "He is one of my best."

"No." Her face fell in sadness, "I can not… Please, love him for the both of us." With a gracious move she lifted the hood of her cloak over her head and turned around before she ran off into the forest, leaving Arthur to stare at the empty space she left behind.

* * *

Blinded by her tears Avery ran off, further away from the source of her pain. Ignoring the whispered plea of her friend Iseldir in her mind she rushed on. No, there was no turning back, not now… not ever. She would not get caught, only to be burned at the stake in Camelot. No, she would not give the king and his court the satisfaction of killing another person with magic, just because they made the laws so unfair.

Both Goodwin and Gwaine had warned her against men who claimed they were noble by birth, but whose actions spoke against it. Even now, when she recalled her husband's story of how he got pushed aside simply because he could no longer fulfil his knightly duties, she grew angry.

All Goodwin had done was fight in battle for the king he swore to protect, but when his injuries from a lost fight held him back in spite of his best efforts Caerleon dismissed him. Left without compensation, or any support, Goodwin made his way out of town when he could no longer bear feeling useless. It had not helped matters much either that some of his former friends mocked him for his limp.

Avery met Goodwin when they were both at their lowest, two souls lost in life. Her feisty spirit settled down under his calm presence and in turn she showed him he was worth more than he believed. Together they held strong. What one couldn't do the other could. They only allowed the outside world in when a passerby drew their attention for longer than just a fleeting moment.

Gwaine became the exception to their rule of never letting anyone stay for too long. With his strong and positive spirit he extended his stay and he changed them both for the better. Avery felt happy when she saw Goodwin no longer felt ashamed to have broken his vows, because another man told him he was strong and loyal. In turn they tempered the restless spirit of Gwaine. The past however still had a hold on him and after a while it pulled him away from them.

A boy never saw his father return and then Gwaine watched as his mother slowly died in spite of his best efforts. Becoming man of the house at a far too young age Avery did not envy him. She once heard Gwaine say he had a sister too, but each time he spoke about her he could not conceal his anger and frustration.

Family… Avery knew all too well blood wasn't everything. Her own father had spat her out when her gift first showed and no one had stood up for her. The memory of her own banishment made her refrain from asking Gwaine more about his past. Looking back she felt that maybe she should have, because it would have made her able to admit to him who she was too. Just maybe… he would have stayed then.

Too late now, because fate had turned against her in the worst possible way. Why out of all the kingdoms did Gwaine pick Camelot to serve? Why did it seem like the king with all his arrogance and crimes against magic had the audacity to have feelings for the man she still loved? None of it made sense and none of it seemed fair to Avery. Sadly there was nothing she could do anymore to sway him.

"Let him leave. Destiny has greater plans for him, my love." Out of nowhere came the memory of the day after Gwaine left. Avery had set out to follow him, so she could bring him back, but Goodwin had stopped her with a sad look on his face. In his eyes she saw determination and it made her wonder what he was thinking. "I don't know why", her husband then admitted, "But I believe he will be a fine knight one day. The future of the kingdoms is changing for the best and we have to let him play his part in it."

She never found out where his idea had come from, but now on this bleak evening she'd seen the truth in his words. Gwaine walked the path away from her and even further now than ever before. Shivering in the cold mist rising up between the trees Avery walked on. Every once in while she crept away from the few druids who came for her to get as far away from the pain as she could.

Only when it grew dark and she'd walked for over a league Avery dared to stop her flight to a freedom she didn't want anymore. Sitting down against a tree stem she fell asleep with a prayer on her lips, "Please, Gods. Let him live for the future of the world. Survive this, Gwaine, and maybe one day I can make sense of your choice." Her mumbles fell silent to make way for a restless dream. Little did she know that she'd disturbed fate by unveiling the depth of his choice to the point where he shared the King's bed in secret…

* * *

Closing his eyes Gwaine found the darkness surrounding him somehow did not seem so cold anymore. By some miracle Avery still lived. His assumptions about her death had been wrong, or did he only see what he wanted to see in his pain clouded dreams? The way she felt under his hand and the smell of the jasmine soap he smelled before made him believe the Gods granted him a favour. Well, part of it anyway… because where was Goodwin? Had he risked his life for Avery and lost it?

On the edge of his consciousness Gwaine heard a voice speak in pain, but his mind could not grasp what she said. Even so Avery sounded angry, afraid and tense. He wanted to jump up to protect her from whoever had caused the hurt, however his body still didn't listen to his brain. The only thing he could manage was listen to the world around him and what he heard tore into his heart to add on his pain.

"I shouldn't, but I do. Gwaine and I…"

Barely able to open his eyes he could see the blank stares Arthur received. The knights he called his friends seemed stunned to silence. None of them spoke as their King continued, "It never was my intention, nor was it his, I assure you. We fought it as we fight each other, but…"

Silence lingered as Arthur's unsteady voice trailed off, allowing for Gwaine's frayed mind to turn to chaos. What was going on? He wanted to keep his eyes open, but could not and instead he had to rely on his ears to tell him what went on.

"Everything father ever taught me and the laws of court that have always been a part of my life. I should have kept to them, even if only because I am the King and I have a duty to my people. I know I should have resisted the temptation, but Gwaine he is, well… Gwaine."

Even with his eyes closed Gwaine could picture the way Arthur shrugged and their friends grinned in reaction. It seemed his reputation remained as stubborn as ever. Where it always amused him before he could now sense how Arthur struggled with facing the truth of what happened between them alone. It upset him that he could not stand by him in facing the men they both called their brothers in arms.

"There is nothing any of you can say that I don't know already. It is not wise and it does weaken my position, but I tried fighting how I felt. What is done, is done. I…", Arthur barked a laugh that sounded anything but amused. In it Gwaine could hear how like so often before Arthur was insecure and he found it hard to speak of his emotions.

"Truth is, what I feel and what can be are worlds apart, which is why we keep silent. Some days I wish I could walk away from him for the sake of my Kingdom, but I fear I can not. The harder I fight it the more I can't deny what is in my heart."

"That woman, who is she?" Leon asked. "Why was she so angry? Was she… is she…"

"A past lover maybe, who knows?" Gwaine picked up on the tension in Arthur's voice. "I realise now that I barely know him, Leon. All his tales of conquests and women, and dare I say it men, how many of them are true? I find myself wishing I could walk away from this mess, but to leave him now breaks my heart and I know I'd live to regret it."

"Sire…" Lancelot started at the same time Merlin jumped to his feet. His words turned everyone away from matters to the heart and back to the harsh reality the dark creature had bestowed upon Gwaine. "The choice may not be yours, Arthur. I fear Gwaine is seriously injured. I tried my best to heal him, but he bleeds internally and I worry he won't make it through the night. The druids, maybe they can help me save him. I can not do this alone…" His tear filled voice trailed off and mingled in the resulting blur of noises.

Something that went beyond Gwaine added to his worries. The hurried sounds of people walking around the campsite made him realise deep down he was in serious trouble, and yet his mind could only focus on the two people he loved. He had sensed how Avery's presence had cut into Arthur and vice versa. It hit home to him how the unfair laws against magic put the two people he held dearest in the world on opposite sides. Here he was stuck in the middle and unable to do anything but fight to hang onto his life.

If by some miracle he walked away from this alive he would have some serious outfall to deal with. Gwaine groaned knowing how both Arthur and Avery were strong minded people who were not easily swayed. It almost made him want to give in to the darkness to cross the bridge and see if Goodwin waited over on the other side. No… he decided, he was a lot of things, but never a coward. He'd face what would come and deal with it in the way he always did, head on.


	4. Suggestion

Avery awoke with the startled realisation that she wasn't alone. "Iseldir", she almost jumped out of her skin seeing him sit on the ground opposite of the small fire he had lit between them as she slept restlessly. "What… how did you find me?"

"This is my home", his simple answer made her shake her head at herself. Of course Iseldir who had lived in this forest for most of his life had no trouble with finding her. She had not wanted him to follow her in the angry state she was in last night, but now he was here she felt that deep down she had known he would come for her anyway. Once more he showed her why the druids trusted him with what little they had left. She only wished she was ready for what he no doubt was about to say.

"I am not going back, not while he is there."

Iseldir smiled his ever infuriating smile, the one that always told her he waited patiently for the person he spoke with to change their minds.

"You can't make me this time, my friend."

"Eat something", he offered instead of answering her glare.

Avery looked to where he pointed and found a bowl made out of leaves filled with elder berries. Her stomach growled in answer, making them both grin. Rather than filling the silence with her anger Avery munched on the offered food and after a while she smiled. "How do you do it? You calm me down when you have not said a word."

Iseldir shrugged, "What is there to say? You seem to have made up your mind."

"You don't know what I am thinking."

"No", her friend agreed. "But I have been there, so I know what tears you apart. When we lose the part of our heart we gave to someone else it's gone forever. To live with that is never easy. Not a day goes by when we don't mourn their passing."

She blinked at him and finally understood the glimmer of sadness that lingered in his grey eyes when he thought no one watched him. "Iseldir, I am sorry."

He smiled, but he did not answer her. Instead he asked, "The injured man, you know him, don't you?" Her hesitant nod was met with a knowing glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Once more she felt she had not fooled him for one moment. "You love him", it wasn't a question.

"Goodwin and I both did", Avery admitted with tears in her eyes.

Iseldir crawled over to her side and he pulled her close. Somewhat reluctant she allowed him to wrap her into his arms. "You can't let go of two pieces of your heart. It is too painful to lose someone special, don't force it to happen twice. I can't make your choices, but I hope you can find it in yourself to at least allow him to explain his choice to you. Isn't that what you both deserve?"

Avery pulled away a little, "Do you think he will live, Iseldir? Do you know of his future? Please tell me the beast did not take him from this world…"

With a sad smile he reined her back in, "To see the future is one thing, to make sense of it another. The beast shaped your destinies and it gave you a second chance with him. I see that as clear as day. Are you willing to deny him, because of one man?"

"The King does not stand alone in his hatred of magic", Avery protested.

"Oh Avery, that is where you are wrong. He can not hate what he does not understand. Do you remember the last night you spend with my tribe before you sentenced yourself to solitude? Remember Eldred's tale of the Once and Future King and the warlock named Emrys?" Her barely there nod as her head laid on his shoulder was enough to let him explain what he had seen, "Arthur is the king he spoke of. It is our belief he will change his mind about magic and he will listen to our kind. He will unite Albion in peace and bring about the golden age."

"That arrogant man?" She could not help the disbelief shining through in her voice.

Iseldir grinned before he kissed the top of her head. "Not by himself, of course. He has your friend too. Don't tell me you did not see how Arthur worried for him in the same manner you did."

Avery rolled her eyes and she pulled herself back to interrupt her friend's gaze into the flames, "You always see more than most people, don't you?" Her grin was met by one of his more enigmatic smiles. "You don't judge the love between two men, nor do you hesitate to push me back towards them. Why is that?"

Iseldir held out his right hand to her with his palm facing downwards. With a finger of his other hand he pointed to his druid tattoo in explanation. "The triskelion symbolizes the freedom of those who live at one with nature and magic. It marks the sun, the earth and the moon; or as some say the basic make up of us of humans. If you look at it closely you see how the three spirals meet together in the centre. The rules of society dictate monogamy and people say we should only share our bed with one person of the opposite gender. My heart however is like the triskelion and it understood no such restrictions."

"Like me you had two lovers at once", Avery realised out loud. "I did always wonder why Goodwin and I were only truly happy when Gwaine was with us. It often felt like he grounded us, as if we somehow had been waiting for him. You now tell me we were meant to unite in such a deep way?"

Iseldir smiled knowingly, "I do. So do you think you can find it in your heart now to try and repay him?"

"What, you mean… but I can not. That man, I do not trust nobility, you know this. Heck, I don't know how come Gwaine put his trust in a man like him. Who says Arthur will even welcome such an idea." An amused shake of his head made Avery falter. "What?"

"I never said it was easy", Iseldir shrugged as he rose to his feet. The twinkle in his eyes made Avery realise that he knew he'd done it again. Once more her friend made her see passed her anger and look at life with yet another small flicker of hope. It annoyed and amused her at once how he did it time and time again. "Will you come with me now?"

She held out her hand to let him pull her up. When she got on her feet she pulled him close to kiss his cheek. "I shall miss you, my friend."

"I will always be right here. Know that you can turn to me if ever you need a friend to talk to." He turned around and walked off, no doubt trusting in the fact she would follow.

Avery took in her surroundings with a sigh. She would miss the forest, but now she had calmed down enough and she had weighed her options she could see her future did not lie with the druids. Instead she would hear out the man she loved, that was if he by some miracle made it out of his ordeal alive. As she followed Iseldir back to the camp she prayed with all of her heart that his power of sight would not let her down. This was the last of what love she had left to give.

* * *

"The druids? You mean magic…"

Stunned to hear Merlin suggest such a dangerous action Arthur met his deeply worried eyes. "Yes milord", the fact his servant used his title for a change only added to the unease Arthur felt. "My skills as a physician are limited and I see no other way. I can only help Gwaine with the wounds I can see, but Arthur, it is so much worse than the cuts and bruises. He's…"

Arthur raised his hand to put a stop to the sinking feeling of dread, "I get it." Unable to deny his own worried mind he walked the last few steps over to Merlin and he knelt back down by his side. For a moment they were silent as they watched the man lying broken on the blanket in front of their knees.

A soft, anguished mutter had Arthur reach out to wipe a stray lock of hair from Gwaine's sweaty face. "He has a fever", he realised.

"His wounds, I think they are getting infected. Gaius, he knows what to do, but we can't move Gwaine without causing more harm. Arthur…" As Merlin faltered on saying his name Arthur felt how his friend clasped a hand around his shoulder. "If there was any other way, you know I would."

Arthur nodded numbly. He looked up and saw how his knights too gathered around their fallen friend. Even Percival carefully half limped his way over. The makeshift bandages wrapped around the stitched wounds on his legs marked how he had survived what Gwaine might not. It stunned Arthur that his knights came over in spite of his admission of breaking with old traditions by loving another man, one who wasn't even of noble birth. He feared for a moment they would look down upon them both less favourable, maybe even in disgust, but what he saw in their eyes was only worry.

Stunned he realised that even now when he had showed them he was no better than any other man they still awaited his order. Nothing of their loyalty wavered, though he had no doubt some did not quite agree with the choices of his foolish heart. Hell, he was not without doubts himself, or without fears for the future of the Kingdom they all swore to protect. But now was not the time to think of himself, or if he had done the right thing in admitting to the truth in the presence of the druids…

"I know what Gwaine would do if he had anything to say about it", though Lancelot spoke soft he cut into Arthur's thoughts with ease. Looking up he saw the handsome knight smile wryly. "And I don't think we can deny him his wishes."

"I agree", Leon offered. "Maybe we owe it to him to break the law for once… Sire."

Arthur grinned at the way Leon added his title with a slight bow of his head. More than any of the others his second in command understood what he had to deal with back home. The both of them had grown up in the ranks of nobility. They had been taught as young boys how to behave, how not to break the laws and how to live by rules no one had ever bothered to write down, but were impossible to ignore anyway. He was tempted to listen to his knights, but could he break once more with his father's ways?

Percival nodded, a shy smile played around his face when he answered the question on Arthur's mind. "He would have a field day knowing we did, but Arthur, I believe he made a good point during the peace talks with King Edwyn. I too believe that there are two sides to magic. The creature we fought today for one may have been conjured by magic, but the druids around us… they did what we could not and they defeated it with their spells. Maybe they too can help Gwaine in ways we cannot."

If the men, who trusted Gwaine as much as the knight trusted them in return, made their choice then who was Arthur to deny them all simply because of the law? He could no longer think of a reason why he would not risk what he had come to see Gwaine would risk within a heartbeat. Maybe it was wrong to turn to magic, but in his heart he could not live with the thought of losing the man he no longer loved in silence. In truth he was not ready to admit that he was close to make the same choice for by far more selfish reasons than he could get away with anyway. Even if he lost everything he wanted, no needed, Gwaine to live, because the alternative broke his heart.

Arthur rose to his feet and then turned to Merlin. Ensuring that his voice carried over the distance with the druids he offered his answer in the way that sometimes infuriated his friend. "Do what you must do, Merlin." With assured strides he turned around and walked away, too afraid to show his fears by watching the druids gather around the broken form lying on the ground. He just could not bear the odd chance that his choice condemned Gwaine even more than the creature had.

Deflated and exhausted Arthur sat down on a stone, turning his back onto what he could not face. Of all the things why had his feelings been revealed in public? As he contemplated what had happened in the course of one day he felt his anger and fears turn to the woman who had single handed managed what no one else could. She had revealed each of his doubts, weaknesses and his mistakes. Once more he shook his head at the twinge of jealousy that crept into his mind. She had Gwaine in ways he did not know of yet. Why did she leave then if he had loved her? Arthur had so many questions and none of them could be answered by anyone but Gwaine himself.

Throughout the night Arthur remained where he was. The closed off stance of his body language and the cold absence in his eyes kept everyone at bay. Arthur was so lost in the mess left behind by the creature that he missed how Merlin watched over the man he loved in ways no one in Camelot had ever considered. Magic and destiny finally came together shortly after dawn…

* * *

The instant Gwaine opened his eyes he blinked up into the beautiful golden light of not only the sun. Eyes filled with magic startled back to stunning blue filled with such joy it made him smile too. "Merlin…", his voice broke on just one word.

"Easy", Merlin offered. "You are far from healed yet."

Too disturbed by what he had heard and seen before the world turned almost pitch dark Gwaine pushed away the hand that wanted to gently keep him lying on the ground. "Avery… Arthur… what… where." Frustrated that his voice did not agree yet with speaking he tried to sit up and look around, but when a flare of pain took his breath away he regretted moving instantly.

"Gwaine", the warning call of his name was filled with concern. "Take it easy. Your ribs are broken, as is your hip. We did our best, but you were injured so bad we could not take care of all of it in one session. Please, you mustn't move."

With another wince of pain Gwaine tried to regain his breath. Having no strength left he allowed Merlin to help him lie back down on the blanket which lay spread out on the humid grass.

"Arthur!" The call of the King's name came from the near distance. "Look, he's awake."

In a flash a blur of chainmail covered man knelt by their side. "Gwaine… are you… is he."

Gwaine grinned at how it seemed he wasn't the only one who lost the capability to form complete sentences. A hand grabbed a hold of his and he did not protest at how it almost squeezed his too tight. "Arthur", he managed with a grimace of pain before his eyes drooped closed again.

"Merlin?"

"The druids stopped the bleeding and we set his broken bones. Gwaine will live, but only if he takes it easy and we give him the time to heal."

"Can we take him back with us to Camelot? Gaius will see to it that…"

In a fit of renewed panic Gwaine's eyes shot open. "No!" He could not leave without knowing if his pain induced dreams were real or not. Now that he had seen Avery again he had to make sure one way or another if there was a way she had survived the fires, which killed her husband and burned down her house.

Arthur frowned down at him, but before he could speak Gwaine beat him to it. "Arthur please, I can not leave, not until I know if there is a chance she lives. Is she here?" Met with only silence he struggled to get up, but the strong hands of the man he loved gently pushed him back down.

"She was, but Gwaine she left. I…"

"You two fought", Gwaine sighed in regret. "Because you represent everything in life that destroyed her and she could only keep on running."

"That's hardly my fault", blue eyes brimmed with emotions Gwaine knew Arthur would never speak of. He knew he was torn, they both were. His past and his future crashed together in the form of dark magic that blew everything they felt out in the open. If he let it it could destroy his King, the man he loved and Camelot all at once. Was he ready to let it? No, he would rather rip out his own heart than let Arthur go through with what was never meant to be in the long run.

"Magic…", Gwaine began, but he needed another panted breath to finish what he knew would tear apart more than just his heart. "Saved my life. It saved Leon's life too and it gave birth to you. Yes, I heard that tale too. I know you don't want to accept the words of a mere peasant like me, but Arthur, your father was a fool and you are wrong for not seeing that. I will not fight you on this any longer, I would rather leave…"

As Gwaine closed his eyes in pure exhaustion and sadness he missed how Arthur looked up and stared across the open space in the forest. Defiant glances met over his pain filled body in a look of sudden understanding. "I will never ask you to leave", the words of hurt feelings were not only meant for Gwaine, even though each one cut into him like a knife. "You are not just a peasant to me, Sir Gwaine, and you know it… or at least I thought you did know that. If you think so little of me then maybe we both made the wrong choice. I cannot force you to stay and if you would rather be with her I will let you. But don't put this down to magic and assume that you know how I feel about it."

Unable to react to the retreating footsteps Gwaine accepted the consequences of his decisions. "For the love of Camelot", he whispered as he let go of his consciousness with a tear rolling across his cheek. Little did he know the woman on his heart had overheard the five words as she came over for herself to ensure he truly had defied the creature…


	5. Proposition

"Arthur Pendragon, they say that you are a fighter, why do you walk away now?"

Her voice made him stop dead in his tracks and turn around. Arthur faced the woman who had torn his life upside down with a guarded look. He would not give her the satisfaction of seeing how hurt he felt by her presence. "It's done, he made his choice."

Avery shook her head, "How can you not see what he did there? You say that you love him and yet when he needs you the most you let him send you away. Leave then, if you are so determined to keep to your unfair laws, but don't come back and ask for his respect ever again. You do not deserve it."

Angered Arthur stepped forward, "Do you even know who it is that you're speaking to?" Her firm nod did nothing to diminish the breaking of his heart, or the nagging feeling that maybe she had a point. "Neither you or him know me if you think walking away comes easy. My entire life I have done the best for my kingdom, it has to come before me in everything. The one time I am willing to choose my heart over common sense it gets thrown back into my face. I will not stand here and let you judge me for it."

She crossed her arms, "His choice was made out of the same foolish notion as yours. For reasons that go beyond me he swore loyalty to you in more ways than one. I don't know what he sees in you, but I just saw him break his own heart in order to protect you."

"What do you mean?"

She unfolded her arms again, a sudden look of defiance in her eyes. "You don't even know that Gwaine was born the son of a knight, do you? He never said because he hates nobility and everything that it stands for. Yet here we are, years after he told me this, and today he serves you out of all the Kings he could choose."

Shocked by her revelation Arthur thought back to every moment he spoke, or rather the times he fought, with Gwaine about ranks and true meaning of noble station. Each time they did the man he loved had hidden the fact that he was a knight born within a noble family… why? In the same breath Arthur remembered how not too long ago his own father banished Gwaine, because two men who hid behind the façade of nobility told him lies. With sudden clarity everything fell into place; from how Gwaine avoided speaking of his past to how he was knighted anyway, because he could not deny the noble fighter that he was deep down.

Smiling wryly Arthur met the defiance of the woman standing before him, "What have I ever done to you that you hate me so much?"

Deep sadness replaced her every other emotion and when she answered him her sombre truth chilled him to the core. "The men who burned down my life and killed my husband wore red capes, marked with your crest. We were still asleep and it almost killed me too. Only because of my gift, the very same reason why they came, I escaped before the roof collapsed."

Arthur frowned, "You have magic?"

To his surprise her defiance returned as she met his stare, "What of it? You can not hurt me anymore than you already have."

"I have not lifted a finger against you, or your husband."

"Your laws did, as did your men… you can't deny that. You may as well have lit the fire that destroyed my life yourself"

Arthur shook his head, feeling more angry than he could admit to how no one had given this woman and her husband a fair trial. The older he got the more he felt that his father had ruled too harshly. While he was not ready to say it out loud Gwaine did have a point earlier. Too many innocents, because to him having magic was something else than actually using it to do evil, had suffered. The woman before him only confirmed to him once more how he had to re-evaluate some of the things his father taught him. Yes, in a way he had loved Uther, but now more so than ever he had to learn to stand on his own two feet and make his own decisions about ruling his kingdom.

"Father was wrong", the truth blurted out of him before Arthur could help it. "As are Gwaine and you. You can't judge me by his actions, nor can I punish you simply for being different than me. I do not pretend to understand magic, or that I don't fear it can harm my people. I will however never sentence a person without giving them a fair trial. I am not the man my father was, not even close."

Avery smiled at his honest reaction, "I can see why Gwaine feels that you are different and so, because of him, I shall give you the benefit of doubt."

The hesitant peace offer made him smile, in spite of his sadness. He did not really want to leave Gwaine and let her take his place, but what choice did he have? To hide his shaken emotions Arthur half joked, "Now, may I leave?"

She grinned at his poor attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, actually no, Milord." His frown of confusion caused by her using his title was met with laughter, "Men! You really don't get it, do you? He needs the both of us to help him heal."

"The both of us, but how can that work?"

"We will figure it out along the way I suppose." Her shrugged answer made him grab the offered lifeline with both hands. Dare he think that maybe no one had to lose? It sounded near impossible, yet Arthur knew for the sake of his heart he could not avoid giving whatever she offered a go.

* * *

Faced with his undivided attention Avery wavered a little. How was it that she, a mere peasant and one with the gift for magic too, shared her love for Gwaine with none other than the king she did not dare trust? For a moment she turned around to where they both had left Gwaine in the hands of the dark haired healer who had come along with Arthur. There was something about the lanky man that made her feel the man she loved was more than safe with him.

Her uncertainty clearly made Arthur feel nervous too. Twice she saw him try and speak, and twice he failed. She too did not know what to say. Where to start? She had not even thought any further than what Iseldir had suggested to her. Would they stay with the druids, or would she have to go to Camelot? Even the thought of her home town made her want to run as far as she could. No, there was no way she could go back… was there?

Avery was spared any further thought on facing what she was far from ready to face when Iseldir appeared by her side. His ever present cloak of silence startled her. Like always he came out of the forest unnoticed until he stood right next to a person. By the way Arthur frowned she realised he too got startled by her friend. The snap of his right hand towards the grip of the sword he wore on his belt and the sudden alert blue eyes showed her that he readied himself to fight.

Before she could even react however Arthur's face split into an unexpected open smile. His hand slipped away from his belt as he stepped forward and said, "You defeated the beast and helped heal my knight. We owe you our thanks."

Iseldir returned the smile and bowed a little, in what looked to Avery like a small gesture of respect. "It took the courage of you and your knights that offered us to regroup so we could help you. I say that we are even."

"I don't even know your name."

"No, you do not." In the small pause she sensed Iseldir dropped deliberately Avery could see Arthur try hard not to roll his eyes in frustration at the aura of mystery.

"How can your kind expect my trust when it is not offered to me in turn?"

"Trust needs to get earned first. The beast may seem defeated, but the spirit of the wolf still lingers in these woods. It can not rest until the darkness lifts from the fighter's heart. We shall meet again when both are at peace and then I will tell you my name."

This time Arthur did roll his eyes and Avery could not blame him. "I have never heard of such a prophecy either", she offered him with a grin. Turning to Iseldir she could not help but wonder, "Will you ever not speak in riddles, my dear friend?"

"Where is the fun in that?"

Avery shook her head, "But you did not come over just to confuse us, did you?"

Now it was his turn to grin. "No, I did not. I came to remind you of the abandoned house on the border with Escetir, the one that stands besides the stream. If you wish for your lover to heal he needs a roof over his head and fresh water. It is only a league from here for a walker. I can not think of a better place where the soul can mend." As quick as he had come Iseldir disappeared between the trees.

"He knows", it sounded like no more than half a whispered insecurity to her ears.

"Well, your admission was rather public, Sire." The humour filled and yet respectful voice of a newcomer made Avery turn around. But where she had expected Arthur to dress down the red haired knight who interrupted them she could only see amusement. In a flash the knight turned back to his duty, "It is Gwaine. Merlin said he is waking up."

* * *

Gwaine blinked up in surprise at seeing how Arthur knelt down by his side, as if he had just come back. "I…", he began, unsure about what his lover's return meant and what he had missed while he was out of it once more.

"You mean, I actually rendered you speechless for once?" His confusion grew at the gentle way Arthur kissed him on the lips. "You can't send me away, Gwaine. I am your King and you can not give me orders. Someone opened my eyes and they showed me what you tried to do. I won't have you make the choice for the both of us like that."

"What he means to say, is that you are stuck with us both for now."

Stunned Gwaine stared at the woman who had spoken and who now knelt by Arthur's side, a look of understanding passing between them as she did. "Why do I get the feeling I missed something important while I was out?"

Slim fingers wrapped around his as Avery grabbed his hand in hers. She lifted it to her lips and kissed it. "What we had is special, but what you have with Arthur, from what I have seen, that is love too. While you were out we talked out our misunderstanding and I think we came to an agreement."

Gwaine nodded numbly, still far too stunned by the fact the smaller hand in his was made of actual flesh and blood. "You… I thought", he choked on the resurfacing grief of losing her in his absence in such a cruel manner. In his weakened state he could not muster the energy to mask his true emotions with jokes and such.

"Avery kissed his knuckles again, "I almost did, but my magic would not let me. It helped me escape."

"And Goodwin?" Even as he asked the question the sadness in her eyes answered him faster than any words could. "Oh Avery, I am so sorry." She clasped his hand tighter and Gwaine returned the quiet offer of comfort. It wasn't enough for him though to have so little contact. With great effort he reached out his arm to her and he pulled her against his side, all the while ignoring his protesting body.

"Gwaine… careful… your wounds", she softly protested.

Not willing to deny them both the comfort he ignored it, "Hush. I need a cuddle, are you going to resist? You never did before." His deliberate cheesy wink was met with her smile and a grin from Arthur. Pulling her close he glanced up at Arthur and nodded to say he understood the small flare of jealousy, but could not help it. Spotting the way his lover seemed to mull things over Gwaine joked, "I can hear you think."

Arthur's answering grin sealed their frail understanding for now. "A druid told me that not far from here is an empty house. I was thinking that maybe we can get you there and help you recover, just Avery and myself. No interruptions, no rules of court and no prying eyes. The three of us need to find a way to get to middle ground and make our choice for the long run. Being away from Camelot for a while might help us do that. The others can excuse my absence in court and cover for us, that is if you both agree to this."

Gwaine could not help but smile at the uncertain way Arthur ended his speech. As strong as his lover was in battle or in ruling his town, there always was a level of insecurity about him that made Gwaine want to wrap him into his arms. When it came to matters of the heart Arthur had not had the best example in life. Every doubt, every inability to voice his emotions came down to the same man who had shattered the life of the woman he loved. Even so it seemed Uther's ghost no longer prevailed over his son's courage to finally risk listening to his heart.

Reaching out his hand he waited for Arthur to grab it. He curved his fingers around a bare wrist and clasped it with his hand. "I accept your proposition", he winked to take the edge of both of their nerves.

At his side he felt Avery nod, "You know I already do, but thank you." A second look of understanding between his two lovers went over Gwaine's head, for he could no longer keep up his pretence of strength.

"Please stay…", Gwaine let his hand slip away from Arthur's. He knew his voice faded even as he spoke, but he could no longer fight the battle against his exhaustion. His body was too battered and it needed to rest, no matter if his mind rattled with so many questions and emotions that he did not even know where to start. Not even remotely able to hold on he closed his eyes in the safe knowledge the two people he loved would both remain by his side.


	6. Question

Progress was slow as they travelled through the forest on foot. The narrow path wound between the trees and bushes, as if only it knew where it would lead them to. Avery however knew differently. This path led to the stream that marked the border between kingdoms. From there they needed to head upstream to reach the house where they could offer Gwaine the much needed shelter the druid circle of stones could not.

Only that morning Arthur had made his proposition. It had taken him but a few moments afterwards to gather his men, included the mysterious healer they called Merlin. Avery still did not know what to make of him. More than once she had heard him speak to his king in a way no other servant would dare, with the odd insult he did not even disguise or hold back. That in itself was strange, but then for Arthur not to object and return the banter in kind had her more than a little confused.

She had watched how Arthur ordered his men around. Without complaints the knights cut down two long, sturdy branches. They then had bound the blanket between the poles with makeshift ropes. Gently they put Gwaine on it. Avery watched with mixed emotions when they covered his weakened body with his own, Camelot red cloak. It was only when they lifted the contraption up that she knew they were to carry Gwaine for the walk through the forest upon their king's request. Would they have the strength left?

Her doubts faded as time passed. The red haired one Avery learned was called Leon plodded on in silence. Even though he sometimes stumbled a little on the uneven terrain Lancelot, who held up the other end, and he seemed determined to not let a fellow knight down. To her it showed their bond as fighters, but also as friends.

She continued her observations as Lancelot steered the stretcher along the path, his face grim in concentration. Even so his eyes shone with the same gentle nature she had sensed was so much a part of him yesterday; when he carried Gwaine from the wolf's lair and helped her clean him.

"Let me help", the third and biggest of Arthur's men offered after a while.

"Best not, Percival. What if you stumble with your injured leg? Merlin will have my back if you tear out his stitches", Lancelot answered with a wink to the servant. The kind gesture took the edge of the tension and the unspoken sentiment of how bad it would be if such a stumble caused Gwaine more grief.

Percival smiled wryly and nodded, no doubt to say that he agreed the risk was indeed too big. Instead he came to walk at Avery's side to offer his quiet company. It seemed to her that he sensed her continued worry and he did not want to intrude. Even so she found his quiet presence more comforting than she expected.

Stubborn in their need to get Gwaine some shelter the group continued. As they walked on Avery watched the two men who walked up front. Merlin, who seemed teary eyed and yet sparkled with life at once, walked next to Arthur as if he belonged there. Sometimes they spoke, or rather mostly the servant did.

"Do you think it wise to send us away?"

"I do."

"Let me stay, Arthur. I am your servant. Let me help you with…"

"Merlin…" Arthur's voice sounded weary and tired with that one name.

"What if bandits attack?"

Avery saw Arthur roll his eyes, but before he had a chance to reply Leon interrupted their conversation. "He may have a point, Sire. While Gwaine is down you are on your own should anyone come for you."

Arthur glanced over to his knight. "I understand your apprehension, but my decision is final. Edwyn promised the Escetir border is a friendly one and so we should be safe. This mess I am in is my own, and I will fix it. You need to return to Camelot. Make sure I still have a castle to come back to."

"Is that an order?"

To Avery's surprise Arthur slowed down to walk beside Leon for a bit. He clasped the chainmail covered shoulder and said honestly, "My friend, you have always followed my orders and for that I thank you. I know you struggle with my choice…"

"I don't, not really anyway." Avery saw Arthur frown and she could not help but wonder what he meant as well. After only one breath the knight elaborated, "I have known for a while fate led you towards this path. I saw you and Gwaine together once and I came to understand that whatever was between you would never be for me to judge. In all truth I think I saw before then your choice would be unlike most men's."

Leon gestured with his head to Gwaine. "I asked him once not to hurt you and on that day I confronted him I judged him wrong. Yes, he is reckless and bold. However I have seen the kind of man he is deep down. Love follows no rules, only men do. You have changed a few laws already… maybe there are bound to be some more?"

Arthur smiled at how Leon winked at him, understated and calm as he met his eyes. "My court, my rules you mean?"

From the front of the group Avery heard Merlin mock groan loudly. "Oh please. Don't you dare put more ideas in the fool's head…"

Avery grinned when in a flash Arthur was back up front to thwack Merlin around the head, before ruffling his raven hair. "Walk on, Merlin, and shut up."

"Yes, milord." After a while however Merlin broke his own promise. "Arthur… are you sure about not wanting any backup?"

"I am told this place is secluded. We can only get there on foot, because the forest is rather dense. This track is rarely travelled, as you can see. The house should protect us from most people passing through. Alright then, if it will make everyone feel better… this is my order. Go back to Camelot, all of you. I will follow in a moon's time at the most."

"Arthur…" While the knights nodded in acceptance Merlin protested, but his only answer was an annoyed shout of his name which ordered him to speak of it no more.

Blissfully the silence returned, but Avery found it brought her no peace. Did the men by the King's side not have a valid point? What if bandits did come? She had never worried about such dangers while being on her own in the forest, for she knew every hiding place there. But now with Gwaine still injured how could they protect him?

At her side Percival smiled. "Do not worry. Arthur will defend you both and defeat any who shall come to cause you harm."

Avery looked up at the tall knight to ask, "How can you be so sure?"

"He is our King as well as our first knight. Not many of us can beat him in training. The one person who can…" As Percival trailed off Avery understood he meant to say Gwaine. "Arthur may be stubborn and proud, but he is your best defence. Trust in him as a fighter, if not as a man. Can you do that?"

"You trust him that much… and Gwaine does too?"

"He follows him into battle, we all do, and not only because he is our King. We believe in what he fights for."

"Then I shall trust in that."

As they walked on Avery knew she would try. She'd seen how every single one of these men respected their King and they formed a bond of brothers which seemed unique to her. Every time her husband Goodwin had spoken to her about Caerleon it had felt to her that he had behaved as if he was far above his knights. Arthur however treated them more like equals. He even let them question him and he turned to them for answers. It confused her, but at the same time it was why she began to see he truly was different.

* * *

Everything about Gwaine ached. The pain spread across his entire body reminded him that while he had survived the beast's attack he was far from healed. He had no sense of place or time anymore. Even so it felt to him like they moved him through the forest. If he dared to open his eyes the canopy above him changed. Sometimes it opened up and at other times tall trees blocked the view. The light of the sun blinded him, so he closed his eyes and simply allowed his weak body to shift in and out of the world around him.

Maybe he should protest to every jar caused by the bumps in the road, and maybe he ought to make sense of whatever his friends were saying, but Gwaine just did not have the energy. Merlin had insisted he needed to rest to heal and his body agreed. His mind however did not rest as easily. More than ever he blamed himself for making a mess of everything; his vows of knighthood and this foolish thing called love.

Never mind his own body. How bad was the damage the overgrown wolf had caused him? No one had told him, but the numbness in his lower half and the way his legs did not listen to him… did that mean he would not walk again? What use was he if he could not stand up to fight? Gwaine winced when he realised his earlier optimism at having survived may be nothing compared to the suffering ahead.

Arthur and his proposition, why had he agreed? More and more Gwaine wondered if he had done the right thing in offering his lovers hope that it all could be fixed. Magic had saved his life, but it condemned the woman he loved and it put the fear into the king he would follow into battle for as long as he needed. This was more than the three of them even, he sensed. Fate had put him in the middle of everything and he hated it, wished it was different. More than ever he wanted to run…

… No, even if he could it was no longer an option he could live with. Arthur had taken him by surprise and he turned everything he had sworn he was upside down. Gone was the man who never looked over his shoulder and always moved to where the sun shone the brightest. Lost was the man who had honestly believed he could defy love, just so he would never get hurt. If he had the energy he would laugh at his own misery. As it was he could only give in to his fate and pray for the best.

In a flash he remembered Goodwin. They had been total opposites in personalities, but Gwaine had loved how he could make a mess of the man's reserved manners by opening up to him in the best way possible. Goodwin had been so dominant in his needs, so silent and yet so demanding…

Those heated encounters had been just what he needed then. To be able to let go and simply surrender had offered Gwaine a way to lose himself to sheer pleasure for a while. In turn it had given his first ever male lover back some of his almost forgotten pride as a man and retired knight. They had healed the other by sharing a bed. What they shared however, Gwaine realised now that he looked back at their relation, was not supposed to last. Even so from beyond the grave the memory of Goodwin made him see that he should not give up and fight his fate like a man. Dammit, he would walk again!

In the distance he heard the wolf howl. No… it had been killed, right? Gwaine had heard it whispered back in the camp how the druids defeated it. Magic had called it to life, but it had also reminded the wolf not to cause harm and ended its hunt. Two sides to the same power and yet what he saw in Merlin was different. His friend seemed to only use it for good. Even so Gwaine felt upset on his behalf. Why did magic have to stay hidden? Why could Arthur not accept that magic was a power no different than any other in life?

Good and bad walked hand in hand, more than ever he understood how the balance in the world needed to remain. It was the only constant around him now. He wished he could draw his own balance from it, but the two people he loved tore him into different directions. A life of knighthood and court rules in Camelot, or a life of passion outside it?

Arthur offered him what no other person could. Yes, he infuriated him at times with his need for rules and his inability to be open about his emotions, but Gwaine had always enjoyed a challenge. Arthur fought and loved with courage. So often heated arguments became so much more and Gwaine craved the power he had over his lover, during the times he let him see all of him.

From his memory loving Avery was easier. She made love with everything she was and felt; body, mind and soul. It was just as passionate and heated as it was with Arthur, but in a far more open way. But how much had Goodwin's death changed her? Gwaine did not know yet, but he looked forward to finding out. From what little he had seen she was afraid to be cast away… and it made him sad. What had happened that day her house burned, how much had the flames changed her?

The memory of the burned down house haunted him too. It was the mark of all that stood between his lovers. It marked the fact he had to make a choice, because what other option did he have; walk away from them both and break his own heart? The sad question followed him back into his dreams.

* * *

In spite of his brave words Arthur did feel insecure about what he set out to do. The slow journey through the woods had him reconsider his order in his mind more than once, but he stayed silent. He knew if he turned back on his word to Gwaine and Avery now that he would live to regret it. As much as he wished he could bring both to Camelot, where his own mind would be most at ease, it was not possible. Gwaine's body was by far too weak to travel the distance for one… and for another the fear in Avery's face when he spoke of his home town was by far too real. What had happened to her there?

Maybe before Leon headed back home he would ask his friend to go to the Camelot library and find Geoffrey, who kept all the records about the town and its people. Maybe there was more of a connection to his people than Avery wished to say? One way or another he needed to be sure of who she truly was before he could trust in her… if he ever could…

The woman Gwaine loved had the gift of magic. She had admitted it to him herself. While some things made sense now, like why Gwaine did not fear the forbidden power, Arthur continued to wonder if he was on the path of his own destruction. Dressed in a cloak and dress her appearance suggested she was a druid, but Arthur didn't know for sure. Could he ask her such a thing, or would she feel insulted? They had gotten off on the wrong foot already, so he dreaded to risk more of her anger, because he feared that Gwaine would never forgive him if she ran off a second time.

By the time they reached the stream Arthur had made up his mind, for better or worse. He would not turn back on his word, that would never be the person he was. Gwaine trusted in him, so much so in fact that he had risked the wrath of the beast that had almost killed him. As such his lover was the last person in the world he would let down. He swapped places then with Lancelot, who had stumbled and almost tripped in tiredness.

"Take a break", his gruff comment was met with gratitude. Behind him Leon then allowed Merlin to offer him a break.

"Lead the way", Arthur asked Avery. He smiled gently to encourage her when her eyes widened in shock.

"Yes, Sire."

Unsure if he was ready to lower his guard with the woman he barely knew he accepted the use of his title with a nod. In silence he then followed her along the even more narrow path that led them upstream. Not long now and they could offer Gwaine what he needed most; shelter and a place to heal. It did not matter how he felt, not yet. This was for Gwaine… as long as his lover needed him to he'd give him time.

Arthur did not like for one moment how unsure he felt about his future and how cut up about his emotions he felt. He was the kind of man who needed for his world to make sense, life was easier that way. However the day he met Gwaine caution had made for reckless passion. As much as he hated the insecurity it brought him he loved how Gwaine embraced it and included him in it. Would what they shared stay the same tomorrow? No, it never stayed one thing with his lover… and wasn't that what he admired about him in secret?

So yes, as he saw the first sign of the house through the trees Arthur accepted that his future was in the hands of the Gods. These four walls and one roof up ahead would seal his fate, as would the two very different people he shared it with. They could clash and tear each other part… or they could try and make it work. Arthur knew he wasn't the easiest man to get along with, Gwaine had often joked about his stubbornness, but he vowed he would try and not mess up what chances he still had left with him.

The house came into his full focus then. From a distance it seemed almost romantic to Arthur. Long, winding branches of some green leaved plant curled up against a wall, and the odd red rose blossomed in the high grass. Arthur had no knowledge of any of the other plants, but he could appreciate how nature enhanced the beauty of the light brown stoned house.

Arthur smiled when he realised it was far larger than the cabin he had expected it would be. A few weathered wooden window sills promised there was even the light of the sun falling inside. While the glass panes had long ago been broken out of the frames Arthur sensed this house had a more noble origin. Who had lived here? He grinned when he realised how perfect a mess the house was and how glad he was that the druid chieftain had offered it to him. It truly fitted the knight who hid his noble past and who needed a break from the demands that awaited him in Camelot. Gwaine, he decided, would love it.


	7. Evaluation

The lack of movement combined with the unexpected feel of a comfortable bed made Gwaine realise they had reached their destination. He took in his new surroundings and smiled at the domestic sight, which awaited him. In the small hearth a fire burned to warm the place up. Above it hung a pot, in which something delicious stewed, that was if the smells were anything to go by. Every now and then Avery stirred its contents.

Not far from where she knelt down Arthur sat on a small stool dressed in his tunic and breeches. He had opted to discard his usual chainmail, which no doubt no longer felt comfortable to wear. There was only so long a knight could tolerate staying dressed in the suit of either ice cold or searing hot metal. Gwaine knew from personal experience it offered no sense of comfort and no middle ground, as it served for protection alone.

Arthur had rolled up the sleeves of his tunic. His eyes focussed on the task at hand, while he cleaned his sword with the precision and care such a weapon deserved. As always Excalibur glistened with its unique deadly gleam of high grade metal. Gwaine sometimes wondered where it had come from for it was a true piece of artwork to a knight.

Right now however he relished in the peaceful scene before him. For the first time since the attack he felt a sparkle of hope. Could his lovers find some middle ground after all? And could he help them stay there? Not ready to disturb the moment he pretended he had not woken yet. Watching them silently took his thoughts away from the darkness he felt stir deep inside of him still.

He watched as Arthur laid down his sword and picked up another. Dried up blood masked what it looked like if clean. Gwaine frowned, suddenly upset by the fact his own trusty sword got lost on the dirt track they had long left behind. Stupid wolf! Why had it chosen him and taken the one possession that meant the world to him?

"Where did you…" Avery trailed off, seeing the bloodied the sword in Arthur's hand. She dropped her spoon in the pot and walked over to him, "May I?"

With a nod Arthur turned the sword around, before he offered it to her with the grip towards her so she couldn't cut herself. Gwaine saw how she held the blade up in the light. She turned it a little and in that instance his heart swelled with happiness. Arthur, he had known to take his blade with him? He swallowed back his tears, come on… he was a grown man and a knight at that. Being all sentimental did not do him any favours.

Even so Gwaine could not help his need to know why. Not trusting his voice or willing to disturb the moment just yet he waited to hear what would be said next.

Avery narrowed her eyes at the weapon in sadness. "He told Goodwin it belonged to his father once." It seemed she too had recognized the sword as his.

Arthur smiled up at her, "If matched right a knight and his sword are inseparable. Not even the dirt can disguise this weapon was forged by a skilled craftsman. I have always wondered how Gwaine could afford such a weapon. Now it makes sense."

"Is that why you picked it up?"

Arthur shrugged. "I am not sure why I did. It just didn't feel right to me to leave it lying in the mud. Gwaine always says he doesn't own anything in life and that he isn't worth any riches himself, but in his hands this sword has saved our lives more than once."

"It is a shame it did not help him yesterday."

Gwaine saw Arthur pick up the polishing cloth again in an effort to hide his emotions behind his royal exterior. It seemed trust was still an issue between his lovers, well… of course it was, he had just kind of hoped they could build a bridge. It looked like he had to step in and help them…

"It was Goodwin who taught me how to use it more effective", Gwaine broke the silence. He grinned when in answer the two hurried over to his side. While Avery sat down on the bed end Arthur dragged over the stool he sat on to sit by the side of the bed.

"Tell me about him…" Arthur half asked, after he grabbed his wrist in a manly greeting. "I need to understand the past to make sense of the now. Do you think you are ready to tell me about it, Gwaine?" Shortly he had glanced over to Avery who in turn nodded to Gwaine as if to say she accepted the request.

"I will let you in on a secret first. My trademark move? Goodwin taught me that one."

Arthur barked a laugh. "The one where you catch your opponent's sword? The one you always brag about? Of course… makes sense you stole it from another."

"No, not stealing, he showed me how to perfect what came natural to me. Together we spend hours in the sunset training… well, and basically showing off our skills. Goodwin limped because of his injury, but back then he beat me more than I liked because I underestimated his quiet approach to fighting. He told me to watch him move and he taught me about patience in battle. It's too easy to let anger fuel the fight, but he showed me a better way. Not that I always listen to his lesson."

Gwaine grinned at his own expense. He knew that on some days his temper still got the better of him and that would probably never change. Unsurprisingly Arthur nodded with a grin of his own. His lover only knew him too well.

A tear trickled down from the corner of Avery's eyes in sad memory. Spotting it Gwaine gestured for her to lay down by his side. He waited until she had curled up against him. "I met Avery and him not long after I lost my mother and I left my home behind…", he began as he wiped away the tear drop with his thumb. "Basically I was lost and injured after a clash with bandits. They offered me a bed for the night in their mansion, and one night became more. We fitted, I suppose, and so we grew closer, but our passion wasn't meant to last. Back then I was too restless, too torn by my past."

He saw Arthur narrow his eyes, but his lover remained silent in his need to learn more. "They opened my eyes, Arthur. Made me see pleasure can be offered in more shapes than one. In their bedroom I became the man you met that one birthday."

Avery looked between them, "Birthday?"

Arthur mock rolled his eyes in answer. "My so called friends decided I needed to party. We snuck out of the castle for a ride. They led me to this raunchy tavern, though I did not know what awaited me until I stepped inside. Some friends they were, because they left me to fend for myself. I was way too naïve back then, but when I set to leave it was Gwaine who seduced me into staying."

"I have that effect on people", Gwaine could not resist joking. "Oh admit it. I am the best present you ever had."

"Don't let it get to your head", Arthur joked while he rose to his feet in an effort to hide his emotions once more. "I will get us some stew", he walked off.

Gwaine shook his head in torn sadness. One step forwards, two steps back… was this what awaited him during his recovery?

"Give him time…", Avery whispered. "Give me time. You know us well, but we don't know each other and I fear that we are both headstrong people." She kissed him on the cheek and moved away to sit up. Out loud she said, "I will get us some water. We need to keep up your fluids and give you one of the potions Merlin left behind."

As she left his side to get water Gwaine felt his energy fade again and once more he felt every inch the weakened man he did not want to be. Frustrated he closed his eyes while he waited for their return. Maybe eating some food would offer him back some strength…

* * *

It worried Arthur how easy Gwaine drifted away each time he had spoken for a while. To see his strongest knight so weak brought home to him how lucky they were Gwaine had survived at all. For a moment he had to close his eyes to shut out the image of his lover's broken body getting dragged away by sharp claws. He did not want to relive the dreadful fight and his frenzied run after the overgrown dark beast, but his mind offered him not a single break from the awful experience. What if he had lost Gwaine? No, he could not think like that.

Determined to try and forget Arthur grabbed a couple of bowls from the table. As he did his hands shook a bit, but he ignored his barely concealed anger with fate. He stirred the rabbit stew in the pot one final time and filled the three wooden bowls. With a bowl in each hand he returned to the bed. "I have never…", he began.

Avery smiled, "I will help him." Arthur watched as she helped Gwaine sit up. She put a pillow behind his back and ignored the way he panted as he tried his body to comply. Once more Arthur had to swallow back his own pain at seeing Gwaine hurt. No, now was not the time to think of his own feelings…

However as he watched Avery feed his lover he noticed the love the two had for the other still. It made him feel like he had only listened to a glimpse of their shared past. He hated how jealous he began to feel of how they needed no words and simply worked together to get some food inside Gwaine. In a way it was as if they were a married couple. It baffled Arthur how a man had fit in with these two. In personality Goodwin, from what he'd been told so far, reminded him somewhat of Leon. Yet there was no way he could see Leon embrace such an odd relationship. He just could not fathom how it was possible and the more he thought about it the more it made his head spin.

Not quite tasting his food Arthur ate in silence, stewing on his train of unhappy thoughts. It seemed so unfair Avery appeared to be such a kind and caring person. He had half hoped she would no longer be the woman Gwaine had once loved, but in the eyes of his knight he saw the longing he could not conceal from him in his emotional state. The closer Arthur observed them the more he realised the two people on the bed were trying to get reacquainted. It seemed he was in the way of something here.

In spite of himself, and his own far too unsteady emotions, Arthur knew he had to do the right thing and give the two some space. It hurt to think what could once again come to life between them, but deep down he was an honourable man and as such he would find an excuse. Finishing his food after a few more bites Arthur stood up. "We need more food. I will go out hunting for a while. Be back before sun down."

Briskly he walked off, only to be stopped by an elegant hand with long fingers which wrapped around his bicep. "Are you sure?" Avery looked up to him with a smile. Her eyes tried to meet his, but Arthur looked away so she would not see his frustration with his own torn emotions.

"I am", his answer was short and firm. Arthur knew that he sounded much like his royal self, but it was deliberate. He brushed off her hand and grabbed the bow and arrows Leon had left behind for them. In a few more steps he walked out of the door. As he closed it behind him he let go of the nervous breath he had been holding within. He had half hoped Gwaine would call him back, but the fact that the knight did not meant that his intention had been the right one. The former lovers wished to be alone for a while.

The realisation did not make him feel better, even though he accepted he did the right thing by them. Would he lose Gwaine over his choice? Or did his actions give him a chance instead? He did not know… but he knew that if he had stayed with them he would have lost it eventually.

Arthur ran out into the forest. It did not matter where he went, as long as it was away from the house for a while. He ignored the tiredness in his legs until he could no longer keep up his jog. Panting from the exertion he fell to his knees in a field of ferns where he shouted out a frustrated cry. Why Gwaine? Why when they had been so happy?

The mask of strength he had worn since the attack shattered to pieces in the vast quietness of the forest. No one could see him now; no one knew the King had lost it over another man. As soon as one tear fell others followed in its wake. Finally Arthur dared to let go of his heartbreak. Once more he shouted an agonized cry of sheer frustration. He would lose Gwaine… no, no! He would fight for him. This battle over matters of his confused heart was just so damned hard.

Gwaine's past, why did it come forth to haunt them now? Why in the shape of some evil creature conjured by magic? None of it made sense to Arthur. He wanted to blame someone, but deep down he knew that some things just happened for no reason. The druids were an easy target, but unlike his father he could not blame them for his misery.

Suddenly angry with himself for crying like a girl Arthur got up on his feet. He said he would go hunt for food, so he would. Gwaine needed him to be strong while he healed, so he would damn well try to offer him what he needed. Arthur wiped the dirt from his hands and picked up the bow and arrow. This he was good at, hunting he could do better than most. Pity the poor animal that crossed his path first.

* * *

Avery wiped a dark lock of hair from her lover's face. As she gazed into his eyes she saw the hurt and pain. Putting their now empty bowls aside she pulled him into a hug. "Let it all out", she encouraged.

"I can't", his voice shook with the effort of staying strong. She pulled back a little to kiss his nose. The innocent and familiar touch of her love met with the first tear he could no longer contain. "I won't be able to stop…", he warned.

"Oh Gwaine." She had no words left to say when she felt him shake with the emotions of his pent up anger and sadness. Yet it was enough for the dam to break. Sobs wrecked the strong man she now wrapped up even closer to her body. She had seen it coming, knew that Gwaine had to let go of his brave attitude at some point. Men and their need to stay strong; it was a battle they sometimes lost when the worst came to pass and not even their courage as fighters could keep them from feeling the pain.

Her heart broke for him, every single one of his sobs cut into her. Yes, she had found him again, but at what cost? The Gwaine she knew lived life with a passion which bordered on the reckless side. He threw caution in the wind with every person he met. In a way she knew that he was lonely and how he needed to feel loved back in the same way he gave his love for free to others. But she also knew he feared to get hurt; to be let down by love so bad that it broke his heart to pieces. Still somehow here he was, all cut up anyway, because in spite of himself he had risked everything… and almost lost.

For moons now Avery had condemned herself to a life of solitude. She put a wall around her heart in her fear to get hurt again, but his impossible return had torn them all down so fast her head spun. As he sobbed in grief and pain on her shoulder she understood him more than ever. Life was too hard sometimes, too cruel and yet they could not stop living it and offering it their all. It just wasn't who they were.

They sat together for a while, sobbing and soon sharing soft kisses. "I have missed you", he whispered against her ear.

"As I have you." As she kissed his lips she gazed into his eyes and saw to her sadness the turmoil of darkness had lingered within. "Gwaine…", she started, but his finger on her lips made her stop.

"The food, I feel so much better now. What did you do?" His inquiring eyes implored her to tell the truth she had hidden from their companion, who now roamed the forest outside in an effort to find his own balance again.

"Living with the druids I learned more about the power of herbs. I figured we each could do with some help to build up our strength", she shrugged as she met his smile with one of her own.

"You took a risk", he grinned. "Using magic right in front of Arthur. It's a good thing he can be a little blind to such things at times."

Avery could not help but frown at his remark, but before she could ask what he meant he kissed her on the nose in answer of her earlier offer of comfort. "Gods, I have been such a fool not seeing how I felt sooner. I love you Avery, both of you. Right now I don't care what the morrow brings and if what I feel is right, or wrong. I need to be with you to ensure myself that your presence here is no dream. Will you allow me, please?"

"But… I don't want to hurt you…"

"You can't", he promised as he kissed her lips with passion. Coming up for air he winked and asked, "Are there more of these herbs left?"

Her positive answer drowned in another satisfying kiss. Oh, how much had she missed him and how it bordered on the impossible to refuse his wish. Common sense told Avery she should let him rest rather then exert himself. Instead her brain gave in to the needs of her body as his calloused hands found a way underneath the hem of her dress.

"Just enjoy", he promised with a wink. As his hands sought purpose underneath her dress and he found her centre Avery lost all sense of protest. Without mercy he slowly reduced her to a growing mess of pure want. When two slick digits eased inside of her wet channel while his thumb caressed the bundle of nerves hidden between her folds she moaned in answer. As ever his knowing caresses were too much and yet not enough.

After a while his lips found hers again. She welcomed his passionate kiss and his soft ordered, "Come for me, my love" with a groan of bliss. She wanted it to last, but it had been far too long since someone touched her so intimate and she could not stop herself from listening. With a shouted cry of ecstasy Avery came around his fingers…


	8. Destruction

Days passed Arthur by as if a part of a stranger's life. He had never lived in a simple house where he had to cook, build a fire, chop wood and do whatever other chore his servants usually did for him. But where the chores were boring the strange freedom away from court was a break he felt he could get used to. After everything fell to pieces he enjoyed the freedom away from being a king. Nothing mattered here, no one to judge him but the two lovers.

Lovers… and that right there hit the nail on the head. Maybe he could deal better with the days of quiet contemplation if he felt that they wanted him around. But ever since he had come back from the hunt and he found them entwined in their sleep some green eyed monster tainted his every other thought.

Avery and Gwaine had looked so close that evening, as if nothing could come between them. Arthur almost felt like an intruder when the darkness fell outside and he walked back into the house to find them in such peaceful slumber. Each time since when they sat together they flirted, talked and laughed. It seemed like neither had a care in the world and as if Gwaine did not struggle with the curveball life had thrown the three of them.

Arthur though did not have her flair. Where Avery was all grace and gentle care he kept putting his foot in it. Far too often to his liking he managed to somehow upset Gwaine, whether it was directly or by touching a nerve in the woman he adored. His attempts at conversation were no longer met with flirts and joking answers. Instead it felt like he came up short every single time.

One day he praised himself for taking the risk and for once daring to risk everything just for himself; for the man he was behind the royal mask. The next however he worried about the consequences of his proposition. Would he be able to live with himself if they lost everything?

Arthur found his determination to keep going in each awkward step Gwaine took inside and around the house. The stark reminder of what he'd so nearly lost made him hang on. Life would not offer an easy answer to their dilemma, or a quick fix for their hearts. Sadly it never worked out that way. One way or another though time would bring them one… it had to, because nothing lasted forever.

Silence seemed to offer them some reprieve, not that his mind was ever quiet. Arthur however decided to use it to observe his housemates and think his own life through. What did he want from the future? He needed time to figure it out. One moon, he had told Leon. One moon… Gods, would it even be enough?

"You have been hiding", a timid voice behind him broke into his thoughts.

Arthur turned around and he looked up from the stool where he sat down on earlier. A smile crossed his face, but watching Gwaine limp over from his bed once more halted his heart. He hated to see his strongest knight struggle with something as simple as walking. Every other step Gwaine grimaced with the effort it took. More than anything Arthur wanted to reach out and help him, but he knew that he would be refused. Even Avery got pushed back on that regard…

All too well could he remember the morning Gwaine shouted at the both of them to leave him be and stop fussing. "I will damn well find my own way!" He had stalked out then, frustration and pride following in his wake. Of course Gwaine had not been able to go far and he'd fallen over his own feet into the grass. Wordlessly he had allowed for Arthur to pull him back up, but it was the last time they had touched or been close.

A wince got held back when Gwaine sat down on a nearby stool, and Arthur sensed he did it for his benefit. He hated how they'd both become shadows of their usual selves. All this tiptoeing around the other out of the fear to argue did neither one of them any good, but how could they break out of the spell of silence which had befallen them?

"No", he answered honestly. "I have only been thinking."

"Careful there. Would not want you to get hurt." Gwaine's joke fell flat. It was as if nothing in life held its usual shine anymore.

Unsure about how to express his frustrations at the situation he stayed quiet. How could he tell Gwaine that he felt he was the one who was hiding? It pained him that the injuries had come between them to the point where talking seemed even harder than usual.

After a while a sigh tumbled from Gwaine's lips. As he stared into the fire in the hearth he muttered. "This, all of this, I don't blame you if you walk away. I am not the man you knighted, not anymore."

"Yes, you are."

Gwaine continued as if he had not objected, "The wolf stalks me in my sleep. I feel its claws slash into my flesh in my dreams and I see its yellow eyed glare accuse me of my escape long after I awake. The scars, maybe they will fade… but the memory of it haunts me day and night. So you tell me how am I supposed to cope?"

"You fight it the way you always do."

"Look at me, Arthur. I can barely stand, walk or hold a sword. I am useless…"

In his anger at the negative attitude Arthur jumped up on his feet to interrupt him. "Defeat is not an option and you know it. This… whoever you pretend to be, isn't you."

"If you think so then maybe you don't know me as well as you believe you do. I always run away from my problems."

Arthur shook his head in firm denial of the way Gwaine's usual optimism seemed to have abandoned him. "No, I have seen it. You are not that man anymore. I would not have knighted you otherwise. In truth you never were a coward… and you damn well know that I consider you to be one of my finest knights."

"Stop it!" Angry eyes were in his face. Gwaine had moved so fast that Arthur had not seen him get up from his stool and close the distance between them. They met in a battle of wills… and neither man could break from their stare. "Dammit Arthur, am I your knight or your lover?"

Caught in the turmoil of the sudden outburst Arthur gave the only answer he could by closing what little distance remained. As their lips crushed together in a powerful kiss he realised their usual tendency to fight kicked some passion back into Gwaine. Feeling his lover give back in kind what he dished out he understood where he'd gone wrong with his silence. The careful approach did not work for someone who lived his life without holding back. No, what Gwaine needed to stop hiding away from the pain and anger was for someone to not let go.

* * *

Finally! For the first time in days something felt right to him. The kiss was powerful and demanding, just like Arthur himself. The distant man who had walked on eggshells around him had seemed like a stranger. He had wanted to pull Arthur out of his shell and he'd succeeded, but what next? Gwaine did not know. Talking wasn't an option, for he did not know how to explain away his frustrations while his mind was so tired with it all. He had not been kidding when he said the wolf haunted him. Even now, as he kissed with as much passion as he had left, he felt its presence…

No! Gwaine forced himself to stop thinking. His nightmare had no place here, not now when he had Arthur where he wanted him the most. With eager hands he pulled at the hem of the red tunic and pulled it over his lover's head. "Want you… now."

"On the bed", Arthur panted, his voice heavy with need and arousal.

So they both needed this. Good! Gwaine could not help but smile in joy as he allowed for Arthur to drag him over to the bed. In a flash they landed onto the soft surface together. They both hurried to undress the other, unable to resist the growing want that drew them closer and closer together. Heated touches caressed skin where ever they could reach. Gwaine quickly lost himself to the pleasure.

Eager to get more contact Gwaine kissed a trail down south along sensitive nipples and the trail of hairs on Arthur's lower abdomen. In a well practiced move he sucked the hard length resting there into his mouth. Moving up and down he set a rhythm that had Arthur groan out, "Gods, Gwaine!"

He pulled back to look at his work. Arthur met his stare full on, a trace of anger and pain still lying inside the lust filled pools of blue. "Don't stop", Arthur breathed.

While it had not been an order Gwaine answered it anyway. Wrapping his lips around the tip he licked off the pre-come. He felt Arthur shiver and he moved in for the kill, taking him back inside his mouth to the hilt in one go. A few times Gwaine sucked hard with hollowed cheeks and then once more he retreated. "Take me", he voiced his need. "Take me hard and make me forget, please Sire."

He rarely used his lover's title in the bedroom, but he knew how sometimes it turned Arthur on… especially when his voice was all hoarse because he had abused his throat on getting him hard and wet as quick as possible. Today was no different, though there was a slight moment of hesitation. "Are you sure?"

"Do it", Gwaine ordered in his need to forget the world around them. To show he meant it he turned onto his belly and pulled his knees underneath him. "You can't break me. Just let me feel you, all of it… every inch and fast."

Hands wrapped around his hips. As they did a couple of fingertips slipped over one of the angry red and not yet healed cuts left behind by the wolf by accident. Gwaine ignored the sharp flicker of memory and the flare of pain. "Please, do it", he begged out of breath.

To his joy Gwaine felt a hard tip brush against his opening. The plea to be taken rested once more on his tongue, but the words failed him when Arthur pushed inside slowly. The sweet friction had Gwaine moan out in pleasure. "Faster", he begged as he rolled his hips backwards to help make it happen. A cry of bliss escaped him when in answer Arthur thrust forward and he slipped in as deep as he could go.

Finally joined the way he wanted to Gwaine rolled his hips again, asking for his lover to set a pace. Like one they began to move, faster and faster to match the need that pulsed inside of them. This was what he had craved for days. The only thing missing… well, maybe one day? Gwaine ignored the voice and images on his mind that suggested for a future he could only dream of. No way, it would happen… right?

Another powerful thrust into him set of sparks of pleasure from deep within, making his spine tingle with need. "Yes, there… please… Arthur… more." Every word met with another roll of both of their eager hips. Too fast, and yet not fast enough he felt the edges blur. He was so close now, so close and he wanted it so bad it almost hurt.

Faster he moved, though his hips protested now. He did not care and ignored the pain in favour of his surrender to the man who pushed even harder inside him now. This was them, two men taking and giving with reckless need… not those two fools they were before they joined in such deep pleasure. Gwaine hung his head in his surrender to the searing ball of pleasure that erupted from deep within him. "Yes!" With a shout he came hard over the bed he knelt upon. In the rush of bliss he felt Arthur come inside of him before they as one collapsed in a boneless heap of satisfaction.

Gwaine wasn't aware that he slept until he woke up at Arthur's side. In his slumber his lover looked peaceful; with a smile playing on his lips and his eyes closed to the world. Gwaine wanted to roll onto his side to be able to kiss him, but the pain in his hips and legs had him wince and stop dead in his tracks for a moment. With more effort than he liked he eventually managed to sit up.

His mood dropped at how he'd been a fool to exert himself. One moment of pleasure had cost him by far more than he had anticipated. His body was useless! Part of him wished he could be angry at Arthur, but the sleeping king had nothing to do with it. No, he had practically begged him to be so forceful. Gods, it had felt so good… but why did he feel so bad now? Were those herbs Avery fed him and the potions Merlin had made even worth the disgusting taste?

Gwaine got up, uncaring of his nakedness. Where was that jug of ale he had found and hidden away a few nights back? He needed a drink, badly! He no longer cared what his lovers would think about it. All he wanted was to forget, to hide away his nightmare that once more threatened to stalk him into the day.

A voice coming from the front door, which just opened, startled him. Avery walked in, her arm carrying a basket filled with herbs. "Gwaine? Have you… why…"

He grinned, though he wasn't even amused at the way she glanced over his body with lust. Normally he would react to her and flirt with her until she would lay with him. Now however he was in too much pain, so he stumbled on to get the jug from behind a couple of crates. As he pulled it out he smiled. Yes, this would do.

Her hand was on his arm, "Leave that, please. Here let me help you get dressed instead. We can talk about it."

Angry at his own helplessness and with the pain he shrugged her off. "I need a drink, not to talk. Just leave me." As fast as he could manage to stumble he was at the door.

"Please", she tried again.

Gwaine however did not listen. He opened the door and stumbled on through. Managing to close it with a loud and satisfying thud he half walked, half fell from the steps and as he reached the bottom he allowed for his body to give in to its need to collapse. Sadly this was as far as he could run…

It was only when the buzz of alcohol warmed him up that he dared to believe that they would leave him be with his anger. He knew he was being unfair to them, but living so close together while he felt the way he did, did his head in. It was too much! He had to figure out what was going on with himself first before he could deal with his lovers. Maybe his answers did not lie at the bottom of the jug, but at least he was happy to try and find them there anyway.

* * *

Avery stared at the door, stunned at the way Gwaine had reacted to her. What had changed since she left to pick her herbs that morning? Her eyes turned away from the door when she saw movement near the bed. Of all the things she expected to see the last thing was that the king got up from the bed dressed in nothing.

She knew she ought to look away, but in her curiosity she could not help but take in his strong masculine features. He wasn't as well sculpted as Gwaine and yet he seemed just as strong. His broad chest covered with soft golden hairs almost made her want to reach out. Just in time she realised she was staring at him. Quickly she looked away.

"Was that Gwaine leaving?" Concern and dread sounded through in his voice. He yawned, but he awoke the instant she nodded. In the corner of her eyes she noticed that he hurried into his breeches. "Dammit, why did you not stop him? He could get hurt out there."

Avery blinked at him, suddenly angry. "I know. Maybe you should have thought until you slept with him!" The moment the words were out she realised she was in the wrong by the way his eyes were ablaze with hurt and defiance.

"You want the truth? He begged me to take him…" When he faltered she saw him blush in reaction to his own honest admission. He shook his head and swallowed back whatever further emotions he safeguarded within his mind before he continued, "I wanted it too, I admit. I wanted to see his passion again and I saw the truth. We have been fools, Avery, the both of us. We were wrong to treat him like he's made of glass. You should have heard him before. Did you know what he said? That he can't fight this."

Her eyes narrowed in thought. Avery had noticed too how Gwaine retreated into himself, but to hear Arthur say out loud what their lover was thinking and feeling was quite something else. Had they both truly been blind?

In a flash of concern she ran over to one of the glassless windows and looked outside. It took her but a moment to spot Gwaine, sitting on the steps leading into the house. She breathed a sigh of relief, but just as she wanted to turn around and tell Arthur that their lover had not gotten far, she noticed the trails of wetness glistening on Gwaine's cheeks. More than anything she wanted to run outside and hug him, but before she could Arthur stopped her. "Let me, I got him there by moving too fast too soon."

She nodded and watched him head over to the door. "Wait", she told him as she ran over to the bed to grab a blanket. Folding it into something Arthur could carry she offered it to him with a sad smile. "Trade careful, Sire."

"Arthur", he offered as he accepted the blanket. "Please Avery, use my name while we are here, or we are forever doomed by our different backgrounds."

On instinct she grabbed his arm, "Arthur, we should both go. He can be a bit of a handful when he's drunk."

To her surprise he grinned, "True!" His eyes found hers then, uncertain about what was the best course of action until he nodded with newfound determination. "Alright we are in this together, so we will both talk to him."


	9. Redemption

After they wrapped him up in a blanket they sat down on each side of Gwaine. Neither one of them dared to pull away the jug of ale from him, so they waited until their lover had emptied it. Arthur watched as Avery wiped their love's tears away from his cheeks. In this moment of quiet acceptance of their shared pain he with sudden clarity realised there was no reason to be jealous of her, because Gwaine still wanted them both. Nothing had changed, no person got chosen over the other. While it meant that he was none the wiser it also meant that he had help getting the old Gwaine back.

"I am sorry that you are in pain", Arthur offered then. "But I can not say that I am sorry for making love to you."

Gwaine grinned, for once an open sign of amusement. "Good, because for that at least I am not sorry either."

"What bothers you then?" Avery asked.

For a moment it stayed silent until Gwaine spoke softly, his voice thickened by his pent up emotions and from the ale he'd drank. "As a knight I am done for and as a man I have made a mess of life… what use am I? I only cause others pain, well no… that's not true. I do not half mess up my own body either."

"No", Arthur shook his head, renewed anger at the unfairness of the situation bubbling up inside of him, but before he could say more Avery beat him to it.

"What happened is not your fault, not now… and not back then. My gift for magic made me a target and it was the soldiers' fear for it what killed Goodwin. For so long I was angry and I blamed your king for my misery, but I can see now that I was wrong in believing he is anything like Uther." Arthur felt her gaze on him. "Things just happen for no reason other than fate."

Arthur met her eyes and nodded, "You have my word that I will question the men who burned down your life to get to the truth. I cannot undo the injustice done to the druids, but you have my word that I will always listen before I pass sentence on a person."

Sensing that Gwaine had gone quiet he put a finger under his bearded chin to make him look up. "Avery and I are trying to become friends, I assure you. We will help you chase the wolf away, but you have to meet us halfway. Stop hiding from us, please?"

For a while they sat in silence, until Gwaine fell asleep against Arthur's side. It did not surprise him at all that his lover had worn himself out. He had not expected for him to answer his question, but he was still sad that he had not gotten through to him. Time was still their best friend, he figured. In the meanwhile he just wished that Gwaine stopped hurting himself by making choices for them all.

In the following days the balance seemed restored. They found a way to live in the house together and if someone needed a break they were now able to say so. One night they even managed to talk about what happened during the night the Goodwin mansion burned down. Avery told them how she and her husband had smelled the smoke as they slept. It woke them up, but because of his injured leg Goodwin could not run out of the bedchambers fast enough…

A burning, thick wooden beam had fallen down in the opening of the door, cutting Avery off of him. Arthur felt her anguish when she spoke of how her husband had shouted at her to run. "There's no sense in you dying too. Go! Live for the both of us", his final orders had broken her heart. Her survival instinct however made her listen and while she too had felt the flames on her back she had somehow managed to make it out alive. She had never stopped running since.

Arthur watched her in concern as she sought solace in Gwaine's arms. Once more he went out for a hunt to offer the two some peace and some time to heal. But now when he returned he did not feel jealousy, just sadness for the woman who lost everything in one night. The more he learned about her the more he respected her for the way she met life head on regardless of the scars which now marked her back. Sure she had shared a bed with Gwaine before him, but it no longer stood between them. After all, who could blame a person for loving a man who had such a huge heart?

But in spite of the newfound balance it was impossible to miss the fact that Gwaine continued to struggle more than he said. Tired eyes and dark circles showed their lover did not sleep well at night. The wolf continued to haunt him, even though he could walk a bit further now and his body healed with the help of Merlin's potion.

Arthur saw his impatience and he understood it all too well. Every time he injured himself he wanted to get back to training as soon as possible. Forced by his body to take it slow did not sit well with his knight at all. Gwaine wanted to fight, wield his sword and stay fit. His legs however refused to give him the freedom he craved. Every time either Avery or he got close to Gwaine their lover held back. "I can't", they soon became the two words with the power to rile Arthur up beyond reason.

"What do you mean, you can't? You haven't even tried!"

His patience wore thin when Gwaine refused to listen to his offer of help him train. Of course he did not mean that they would fight all the way, but just a few stretches and slow moves would do to remind the muscles of how a man moved during battle.

"There is no point!" In a fit of anger Gwaine walked off, heading towards the stream.

"You are a knight, act like one!" His blurted reaction met with nothing but silence.

It however was broken by a hissed warning of his name from the woman coming over to his side, "Arthur… no. Let him go. You are pushing him too hard again." The sad smile on her face said she understood his eager to help out the man they both loved. He was about to walk back into the house when her eyes suddenly sparkled with an idea, "Teach me a few moves."

"But you are a woman", he spluttered in his usual protest of women fighting. Why would she want to? Wasn't she a druid and were they not peaceful folk?

"Arthur Pendragon…", Avery started.

He could not help but laugh at how she placed her hands on her hips in defiance. "You are using my full name now? This can't be good."

She relented then with a smile, "Arthur please. I have never known how to defend myself, not with a sword and not with my magic. Too long have I felt helpless. You said you wanted to train, didn't you? And since there is no one else here around… please, will you indulge me?"

"Alright", Arthur decided to yield to her unusual request. Maybe this way he could get to know her some more. He supposed it did not hurt to try and make the most of it. If nothing changed then at least it would take his mind of how his lover had walked off.

* * *

Gwaine sat down on one of the larger rocks on the bank of the narrow river. He stared out over the water in anger at himself for pushing Arthur away once more and in frustration of how his body continued to deny him even the slightest cooperation. Even walking over had felt like too much of a struggle, when in reality it was no more than a couple hundred yards he had walked, well more like half stumbled. He hated how clumsy he had become in even the simplest of things. How much more time did his body need to recover?

Of course he understood what Arthur had tried to do, but what use was it to pick up a sword when he could not even make love without feeling pain? His body was done for; he had accepted it, why didn't Arthur see it too?

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up!" The voice in his mind sounded an awful lot like Goodwin. "Come on, you can defeat a limping man, can't you? I am no match for you. Put some real effort into it." Oh, how Goodwin had enjoyed challenging him. It infuriated him back then, so much so it caused him to fail far too often.

They fought, teased and taunted. It was their way, but more than anything it was how Goodwin shaped him. "No enemy waits for you to recover. Keep going, always keep going… even when your body refuses. You can die when the battle is over, no sooner."

More anger bubbled up inside of him. Gwaine did not want to listen to his memories and tell them they had a point he could not ignore. Giving up seemed much easier, especially when he felt so utterly exhausted by his lack of sleep. Too often the wolf came for him. Sleep had become a thing of the past… something he no longer dared to give in to. Damn! Even in the cold light of day the yellow eyes glared back at him, unblinking and nowhere near afraid for him in return.

Gwaine blinked, willing the image away once more. No luck! He stared at it then, "Go! You have no place here." In his anger he snatched up a pebble from the rock littered river bank and threw it at the creature to chase it away. He watched as the pebble fell short and the wolf growled in answer. It however refused to budge.

He ignored his protesting muscles as he got up onto his feet, another pebble already in his hands. Throwing it with even more anger he shouted, "Get away from me!"

With a thud the pebble landed in the mud less than a few feet away from the wolf. It blinked, but it still did not break its stare.

Gwaine took a step forward and he picked up another pebble, but as he aimed to throw it away he lost his balance. As he fell onto his backside in the mud he shouted out in pained frustration. Losing his temper he scrambled to get another pebble to throw away… then another… and another. It did not matter to him that his aim was off, because he knew it wasn't real… or was it?

Once more it growled, the sound enough to spook him. "Are you real?" Gwaine sat up on his knees and faced his nightmare, unable to muster the strength to stand. "Have you finally come back for me? Why now?"

The wolf took a few steps in his direction and Gwaine balked, scrambling for another pebble to defend himself. "No. If I go it will be on my own terms. You can't have me, not again… not again." He faltered then, unable to find more words in his tired brain.

Maybe he was weak, and maybe he had done something wrong to deserve the wrath of fate, but deep down he wasn't ready to surrender. The voice in his mind changed in pitch and it turned into a sternness he had only ever heard come from one man. Arthur who held both his sword and heart as he waited for his return after he so foolishly ignored the offer of help. Had Arthur a point after all? Could he become a knight once more?

"Arise Sir Gwaine, knight of Camelot", the memory of a fallen castle and him kneeling on the cold floor returned to him. He had been so proud when Arthur knighted him and even more so when he came outside afterwards to open his heart and soul to him. They had never parted since making love up against the outside wall. Oh sure they had rows and on some days they fought like the stubborn fools they were, but to stay apart? No, this was the last time he would be so stupid to let something get in the way. They would find a way past their pain.

Exhausted and on his last legs he faced the wolf and urged it to leave. "Go!" Again it did not move, but when with his last strength he threw the last stone it hit the beast in the flank. With a howl of pain it ran off, back into the forest to lick its wounds.

"Much better", Arthur's stubborn voice followed him into his body's need to collapse in the mud and fall asleep.

* * *

"Alright." To her surprise Avery did not have to try hard to win Arthur over. Her request to train with him came from an impulse, but now that he was willing to help her she found she was eager to learn. Maybe now she would never be the victim again. She could not help but smile when Arthur offered her the grip of a sword.

Accepting it Avery balanced it in her right hand. It was heavy and yet at the same time she felt how it promised to protect her, if she would use it right. However when she took a closer look at it her heart dropped. "It's his sword…", she almost whispered.

"Gwaine won't mind. In fact I think that he would be honoured for you to use it to learn how to defend yourself."

Avery let a finger trace over the mark etched into the grip. The crescent moon marked the house her lover had been born into. "You haven't told him."

"Told him what?" Arthur asked her, not following her train of thought.

"That I have revealed his noble heritage to you."

Arthur shrugged, "Gwaine will tell me when he is ready."

"What if he will never say?"

"Then he doesn't. It changes nothing to me. His actions and choices speak for him regardless. Now, are we going to stand here talking all day, or are you ready for your first lesson?"

Avery grinned at the deft way Arthur steered the topic away from emotions and her getting closer to him. The more she came to know him the more she understood action was his way of speaking. In this case she had seen how much Arthur respected Gwaine, even while unaware of his true station. And now that he knew the truth he treated his knight no different, nor did he look at him in any other way.

It stunned her how Arthur looked beyond rank and family… and yet, she also realised now why Gwaine had knelt before his King to accept his knighthood. Something about him was different than any other king she'd ever heard of. He did not bend people to his will, but rather he'd won them over with his actions. The more Avery watched the two of them together the more she accepted the fact that she never would or could come between them. What was it that Iseldir suggested… could a threesome truly work?

Avery got pulled from her thoughts when Arthur's hands wrapped around hers and the sword she held in them. "Let me show you how to hold it. Now move like this." In both their hands the sword sliced through the air. "Block your opponent like this", he further instructed steering the sword held in her hands into the right move. "Now do it alone…"

Unable to focus on his order just yet she asked, "Should we not go after him?"

Arthur too faltered mid swing and he shrugged, "He walked away and made it clear he wants to be left alone, so let him come back on his own terms. I am done running after him when he is in such a foul mood."

Catching onto the hurt tone in his voice she looked at him. The glimpse of hurt blue before he looked down was what she needed to understand him once more. In a flash she made up her mind and she kissed him on the cheek. "You don't fool me anymore, Sire. You love him, no matter what you say."

Surprised pools of blue then turned on her, unyielding in their inquiry as his hand wrapped around her wrist to keep her standing close. "As do you, milady."

Avery grinned, "Now you are giving me a title?"

With a shrug he grinned, "If only things could be that simple for us. I give you a title and the whole dilemma of ranks and rules is solved."

"What if…", Avery started. Then thinking better of it she asked, "Why is that?"

"I am the King and I should provide an heir. Or at least, so my court insists. The only thing, well two things actually, standing between Gwaine and me is that he is no woman of high birth and so we can have no sons together to protect the future of my Kingdom." He blushed before he looked away, his hand slipping from her wrist. "As reluctant as I am to let go of how I feel it may turn out Camelot needs me to do it all the same one day. I don't know if I can, but if I can't my Kingdom may be lost to my people…"

Avery reached out her hand to grab his retreating hand to call his attention away from his pain. "Arthur…", once more she faltered from the truth she knew that could help him. Was now the right time to own up to the pain of her own heritage? Well, Avery supposed as she took a deep breath, there was only one way to find out. "I have never told anyone this since the day I was banished, but I am born of noble rank too. My father is the uncle of King Cenred. After he was pushed aside he sought refuge in Camelot. Upon Uther's request he offered information on Escetir and he became a Lord in his council."

His eyes shot back up to find hers, "You mean Lord Bertram? That would make you a cousin of Cenred and Edwyn."

"It would", she answered without breaking from his stare. "But I fell out with Bertram. He banished my mother and me from our home, because of my gift, and made it so that Uther would not know of his disgrace. Everything to keep his status. Sadly my mother did not live through the first winter… so you see, he is the reason why I can not return."

"Ah, but Lord Bertram is gone now. He died in the siege by the immortal army." The blue eyes focussed on her filled with a wide range of hopeful and somewhat insecure emotions that took her breath away. All Avery could do to answer his doubts, and erase her own as well, was lean forward and let her lips find his. With a sigh she leaned into him as he welcomed the sweet embrace of newfound understanding between them.


	10. Resolution

Gwaine woke to the sound of water running in the stream nearby. He sat up and stared at his muddy hands and clothes with a wry smile. Why had he been so silly to take a nap on the river bank rather than the comfortable bed at the house? As he stretched out his protesting legs the truth of what happened before he fell asleep came back to him. Fool that he was he had left his lovers behind worried sick while he chased away the creature of his worst dreams. Dreams?

Hanging his head in defeat he acknowledged the return of the grey furred animal which stood no further than a few yards away from him. "Still here then?"

It did not answer him, but even so Gwaine believed it said, "Of course, I am back". Why else would it walk over towards him? Now at peace with his own mind he no longer felt worried by its presence, so on impulse he tapped the ground by his side. "Sit down, will you? All this stalking around and throwing small rocks at you makes my head spin."

Gwaine did not resist when it laid its head in his lap. It blinked up at him, as if begging for attention. For a moment he hesitated to touch it, not quite ready to embrace that it had stepped out of his nightmares. Then unable to fight his human curiosity he reached out to touch its flank. Feeling his hand connect with course fur Gwaine grinned. "So you are not a figment of my imagination. Good, at least I am not losing my mind."

Staring at the river he contemplated if he was ready to go back to the house. Would they be mad at him? He guessed they'd feel disappointed and hurt. Well, maybe they had a point with the way he behaved recently. Self pity and his defeatist attitude had brought him nothing good. No wonder Arthur had kept pushing his buttons regardless of how he felt. If his lover hated anything it were these weaknesses he deemed unworthy of a man. After some thought Gwaine came to agree with the sentiment, for he felt silly how he had let the darkness grow around his heart and let it eat away at him.

"Not so threatening now, are you?" He smiled down at the animal lying in his lap. Magic had turned the wolf into a monster, or maybe a curse had done it. Gwaine was unsure what had caused it, but somehow he felt connected to the predator being. He had heard tales about how some folk believed a man had a spirit animal to guide him. Maybe the wolf was his and it had tried to tell him something… but what? He supposed it no longer mattered, because now that he had thrown off the spell of darkness he could simply chalk it up as a bad experience and move on. He had to, or he would forever be stuck within the dark.

Well, after a while he would, because stirring the wolf from his lap seemed too much like a bad idea. That and he rather enjoyed the soothing calm existence they had established between them. "You and I, we can be friends." Two grey ears turned upwards as if the wolf had heard him speak. Gwaine kept on petting its flank, unable to find the courage yet to go back to the house. "Soon", he promised himself.

Little did he know that the wolf had heard someone else. A figure moved just beyond the trees. The green fabric of his cloak obscured his presence from him. Iseldir had waited for this; for the balance between the fighter and the wolf to get restored. Only then could the wheels of destiny slide back into place on the path to the future of the kingdom to which both belonged. Iseldir whispered in the language of magic. His elegant spell flowed through the forest, telling the animal to protect the lovers it had chosen as its pack. With a smile he then walked further between the trees to deliver his final message.

Once more the wolf reacted to a sound, but this time Gwaine heard it too. Footsteps came closer and closer… until a voice called out, "There you are."

"Avery", Gwaine answered her. "Did you miss me?"

Two accusing pools of brown fell upon him and then she startled. "The wolf, why… how."

Gwaine shrugged, still not quite sure of what happened. "I don't know, but I suppose you can say that we came to an agreement."

She sat down by his side, her eyes never leaving him. "You had us worried."

"I am sorry. It won't happen again. I am done running, Avery. Done with giving in to what can't be and letting these stupid limbs hold me back. I am tired too with what ifs and stupid rules of court. We will find a way out of this mess."

"I think we may be a step ahead of you on that", Avery grinned and when she curled up against his body he felt his heart lighten with the first glimmer of deep relief he felt.

"Please, don't keep me waiting. Tell me, what did I miss?"

* * *

Left breathless from the kiss Arthur looked down at Avery with a smile. Almost reluctant he let go of her. She too blushed a little at her own hesitance to part, "I better go and find Gwaine, make sure if he is alright."

"Tell him we may have found a way", he offered shyly. It was only then that he realised he still held her hand. Letting go of her he smiled when she nodded her answer.

"I will bring him back home. Or you could, you know, come with me?"

He shook his head. "No, you go alone. Give him all the time he needs. I need to…"

"…Clear your head", she finished for him.

They laughed together at how much things had changed. Who would have thought how well they could get along now on the day of the accident, or even a day ago? Arthur could not wrap his mind around how he had felt something stir between them when they kissed. Something that went beyond a simple friendship. Was it lust? But he had not felt like this with any woman other than Gwen… and even then it stranded before it could grow. Could this even be, whatever this was?

In spite of his confused mind he watched Avery leave, feeling more optimistic than he had been since the beast turned everything in his life upside down. Something had brewed from the start and maybe, just maybe; dare he hope they had a chance to defy the rules of court that felt so much more unfair from the distance?

Too many questions! Arthur shook his head at his own mind. He sure wasn't kidding when he said he needed time. Could he grow close to Avery while he was in love with someone else? It seemed a stretch too far and yet at the same time he wanted to try and take it. Something within her passionate and sometimes challenging personality drew him closer to her. Like Gwaine she seemed to find a way to get him to blurt out things he otherwise would keep to himself.

Avery made him see how wrong his father had been, how cruel life could be and how a person could only live in the moment. She had the same near reckless passion as Gwaine did. Was that why he could not resist her warm heart and sweet, caring way? Her kiss had tasted so good. It was soft and pliant… and at the same time she had taken what she wanted without a hint of fear. For one moment he had felt like a normal man, rather than a king, for she had stripped him down to the feelings of one kiss.

Arthur dropped his sword, along with Gwaine's, into the grass besides the steps that led into the house. He went to sit onto the top one to mull things over. His attention however strayed away from his thoughts when he heard a small crunching sound as he sat down. Getting back up he turned around and he found a folded piece of parchment, sealed with his own mark of the Camelot dragon, tucked between the wooden steps. With a frown he sat back down to break the seal and open the letter. Immediately he recognized Leon's somewhat messy handwriting.

 

* * *

 

_Milord,_

_Upon your request I spoke with Sir Geoffrey. I asked him to check for any daughter of Camelot recorded in the archives with the name Avery. We only found one to fit her age. She was born as the daughter of Lord Bertram, the former prince of Escetir, but he reported her dead when she and her mother did not return from a trip to Caerleon. No one found a trace of their carriage though and it made me think he lied to King Uther to hide his disgrace._

_Arthur, I found the truth of her fate was even worse than I held possible. As I asked around if anyone had ever known her I spoke to Sir Geraint. He led a mission upon your father's orders to follow up on a rumour of a sorceress living in his kingdom. Things got out of hand and they burned down a small mansion. Geraint saw a brown haired woman run, but he hesitated to call the attention of his companions and he let her escape. As she fled her husband shouted for her one final time. Indeed, he called her Avery._

_Upon my request he described her in more detail and he spoke of a vivid scar around her left wrist. Arthur, I don't know if you have noticed it, but I spotted it with my own eyes when we travelled to this house. The scar matches with a story Gaius told me about her as a child. Her hand got trapped when a market stall she hid under while she played with her friends toppled over. So for now I can see no other truth then that the daughter of Bertram is the woman who lives with Gwaine and yourself._

_One last thing, during our search we had to excuse your absence. The court accepted the reason Merlin came up with on the spot. He has led them to believe you've met up with a lady of high rank, who invited you out of interest in a union. I don't know where he pulled that one from, but Arthur it works. We bought you and Gwaine time until the morrow of the full moon. Then I fear we have to come for you._

_My prayers are with Gwaine for his recovery. We await your safe return._

_Sir Leon_

 

 

* * *

 

Arthur finished reading the letter with an amused shake of his head. Oh how right was his servant and friend? It seemed almost impossible how Merlin had guessed at the truth… and yet, it was he who sometimes had wisdom beyond anyone else Arthur knew. So often Merlin had given him advice and so often he had an eerie insight into court life that went beyond a noble's point of view. In fact his advice was so refreshing that for a moment Arthur missed being able to turn around and speak to his servant.

As it was Arthur had to figure out this one alone. No, not alone… Gwaine and Avery had a say too. Or should that be Princess Avery? Breathing a sigh of relief he realised that she had told him the full truth. Once more he felt awed by how brave she was to admit such a secret to the king she had feared until recently. Did it mean that she trusted him now?

"Arthur Pendragon", his name came like a whisper on the wind. Startled Arthur looked up just in time to see a cloaked druid walk out of the forest. A lock of grey hair betrayed his identity. "You again", Arthur guessed it was the man he had now met twice before.

"Me again", the druid said while he lowered his hood.

"Why have you come?" Arthur rose from the steps.

"To tell you that the dark veil forged from the angered spirit of the wolf and the restless heart of the fighter has lifted from these lands. The beast shall not bother you again for as long as you walk this path of peace."

Arthur stepped forward with a frown to mask that he felt out of his depth. He usually asked Merlin or Gaius about such fantastical things, but now that he faced the cryptic riddles alone he felt more than a little confused. "What do you mean? How do you know…" He paused mid sentence when the truth hit. "You are a seer."

"Of sorts." The druid smiled, "Take them both home, Sire. Bring forth your fate and Albion shall be."

Once more Arthur was left behind with many questions. It did not surprise him, because his father's rule had left too much fear behind in the hearts of the druids. He watched as the man turned around, ready to leave. "Wait, you said you would tell me your name."

He stopped walking. "My name is Iseldir, and this is the last time we meet."

"Why?" His question remained unanswered when Iseldir lifted the hood of his cloak over his head and he walked off. Arthur had half a heart to go after the druid for answers, but deep down he feared knowing the future. Maybe it was better to let things be and accept that the beast was truly gone. It had to be, right?

Left with his thoughts Arthur sat back down on the steps. Take them both home; why had Iseldir suggested such a thing? Did he even mean Gwaine and Avery, or had he implied something different? Arthur pulled at his hair in frustration. Magic had always troubled him in some way or another, because he never managed to grasp where he stood with it and which side it served. Even now it stalked him and with embracing Avery he only took it closer to his heart. It was a good thing his father wasn't around to stop him from even considering what he did!

Arthur glanced at the letter in his hand. Leon's words offered him a lifeline; one he knew he had to grasp if he wanted to return home with the man he loved. The longer he stared at the curled handwriting the more he realised that what he needed to hear in Iseldir's advice was offered to him by fate already. The beast had set the dice rolling and all he had to do to win the game it played with them was risk his heart. In order to go home to Camelot together with Gwaine and Avery someone had to take a step forward. Was he bold enough to be that person?

Yes, Arthur decided, while an idea formed in his head and it began to grow. As he battled with his last few doubts he began to pace. What took them so long? Voices and laughter coming over his way announced the end of his wait. Now or never, he realised…

* * *

"We kissed", Avery blurted out. His wide eyed look of surprise made her grin. "Yeah, I did not see it coming either."

"How… why… damn, why did I miss that? You two must look so hot together."

Rolling her eyes Avery shook her head at his amusement. "I told him the truth of where I am from, Gwaine."

"You never told me", he hushed her with a finger on her lips. "It's alright. You know why I never asked? Because it was not my place and more than anyone I understand how much it hurts to live in the shadow of nobility." With a grin he added, "So the both of us, we are of noble blood whether we like it or not. Oh man, what happened to us?"

Laughing she let him kiss her cheek. In a flash his mood shifted back to seriousness. "Jokes aside maybe it's not all bad. You and I, we do not care about such matters, but to solve our current problem with Arthur it may help our case"

"Yeah", Avery agreed. "Nobility may not be such a bad thing for us if it helps him with accepting us. At least with my title back in the open Camelot may not be as far away for me as it used to be. The man who banished me for my magic, my father, Arthur told me he is dead. Uther too is dead, so maybe we stand a chance here to be together without harming the future for the kingdom. Oh, I don't know…"

Gwaine nodded, allowing for a comfortable silence to fall between them. For a while they need not fill it with words and they just sat together in quiet contemplation. Every now and then Avery glanced over her lover and the wolf lying in his lap. Their union seemed so unlikely… and yet, wasn't it what Iseldir had predicted in his cryptic way?

In a strange flutter of realisation and shock the truth dawned on her. The dark beast was indeed born out of conflict, but not the kind she expected. Her kind believed every man had a spirit animal to guide them. However only a few passionate souls with a feeling for magic could tap into the ancient gift of such a primal connection through meditation and a series of rituals. Gwaine it seemed had defied their ways and on impulse he reached out to his in a moment of inner conflict. The devastating result fitted with the fighter he was at heart.

"Title?"

Happy to get pulled out from the sadness at what he had unwittingly done to himself she grinned at his late reaction. Meeting his eyes she made her choice to never admit that she knew what she did now. Gwaine would never forgive himself for the lives lost if he knew he was the one responsible for calling forth the beast. Forcing a smile on her face she answered, "Princess Avery, if you want to be exact."

"P…princess?!" His stunned laughter triggered hers. Avery too felt amused by the irony of it all. So often in the past they had sat down together with Goodwin, drinking and complaining about noble men who were anything but. Now here they were; both born of high rank and both considering a future where they served and loved a King…

Sobering up Gwaine recovered by asking, "How did you like kissing the King of Camelot?"

She thwacked his shoulder when he winked at her to tease her, "Oh, you damn well know he is a good kisser"

"The thing is though", she saw a new flicker of doubt in his soft brown eyes. "I do not think that he is good with women, you know… between the sheets."

Avery smiled in understanding, "I may change his mind."

"But what if you can't?"

"Then you will help us."

Once more silence fell between them. Avery knew the man on their minds was waiting, but she also knew he more than the both of them together needed to think through his decisions and choices. Would he have had enough time? She did not know, but the air around them turned colder as the shadows drew longer.

"We should head back", Gwaine sighed, making the decision for her.

Even so Avery asked, "Are you ready to face him?"

"You bet I am." He said while he gently encouraged the wolf to leave his lap. "I meant what I said, my princess. This is the last time I run away from the darkness of my own mind. This future, no our future, is worth fighting for."

"That, Sir Gwaine, is the last time you will use my title when it is just us." She pulled him close for a kiss and found to her happiness he answered it by drawing her even closer.

Coming up for air he smiled back at her. "No, you will always be special to me."

She shook her head at how he flirted with her like he always did. Reaching out a hand she helped him get up too. "I love you too", the truth was out before she could stop it, not that she wanted to for she meant every word.

"And Arthur?" He held onto her hands even while he stood on unsteady legs again.

"I feel I can, but give me time, yeah?"

She felt him squeeze her hand in answer. "I love you both, Avery. I can not stop myself, even though I have tried. Lord knows I have tried, but I won't fight it anymore."

"Good", Avery accepted and welcomed his truthful admission with a flutter in her heart. She had always wanted for him to love her, and while there was another heart involved, she had her wish come true. Even while she still mourned her husband she felt she could let go of some of the pain that surrounded his death and her own downfall.

"Help me get back, please?" Avery accepted the arm he linked through hers as the first sign Gwaine was ready to call for help when he needed it. Without another word she led him onto the winding path between the trees. Soon laughter and flirts followed in their wake. They were so far wrapped up in each other that they failed to notice how Gwaine's newfound four legged friend trailed after them at a safe distance…


	11. Invitation

Arthur watched as the two people he cared for walked over to him, while sharing smiles and jokes between them. His heart jumped at seeing Gwaine happy again after the dark days they spend together in the house behind him. It seemed as if the world had lifted from his shoulders, a shadow chased away… just like Iseldir had promised in his cryptic way.

Without a word he met them in the middle of the clearing and he clasped Gwaine by his left shoulder to welcome him back home. They shared a look of understanding, until his lover grinned. "You kissed her."

Even as Avery shook her head Arthur met his stare and winked, "You have seen how beautiful she is, right?"

"I may have noticed", Gwaine joked in answer.

"Good… then you may also understand what I am about to ask the both of you." Arthur smiled at the confusion he saw reflected between them. "This house has offered us a break, a chance to heal and to find a way to forgive ourselves for the past. We asked Gwaine to make a choice, but of course he can't. I now see that it was wrong to even ask such a thing, an unfair burden you had to carry on top of everything else.

Arthur paused to shake his head when he noticed that Gwaine was about to interrupt him. "No, let me speak before I lose my nerve. You have been as strong as ever, but now you have to let me take care of you and help us find a way back to Camelot. This place isn't me, I can't stay here and leave my kingdom without a king… and correct me if I am wrong, but you can't break with your vows of knighthood either."

Seeing Gwaine nod in answer Arthur smiled. He took a deep breath and plunged ahead, "I want to invite you both back inside the house. Share the bed with me and show me how two can become three. You both did it once before… so show me, please. I need to know before I can go back home. No, before we can go back home, all of us together."

A hand clasped his shoulder, "Are you sure? If we do this, there is no turning back for me, Arthur. I would rather leave."

With a wry smile Arthur faced his lover, "No you wouldn't. But it does not matter. The truth is that we are long passed the point of no return."

Even as he spoke a smaller hand grasped his. Avery waited until he finished giving his answer to offer, "You are right. We have crossed the line somewhere these past few days and I will gladly show you what you've been missing out on. I believe that we can make this work."

Looking away from her intensity he blushed. Once more Arthur felt the shadow of doubt cross his mind, but a squeeze from the hand which still rested on his shoulder pulled him away from his insecurity. "Trust me, Arthur. I won't let you down."

"I know, Gwaine. You never have."

Nothing more needed to be said between them. They walked up the steps and walked into the house. It was only when they had kicked off their boots and they had reached the bedside that Arthur's resolve faltered. How would this threesome work? His doubts were relentless, but once more they faded to the back of his mind in the presence of Gwaine, who seemed more assured than he had in days. "Stop thinking", his deep voice whispered against an ear shell. "Just feel."

Arthur leaned into the touch as Gwaine wriggled his hand underneath his tunic. From behind him a softer hand followed his lead and Arthur realised once more the two lovers worked in tune together. Happy to be the centre of their focus for a change he pulled Gwaine closer for a kiss, which got answered with growing passion. A bite on his lower lip had Arthur moan out loud, "please."

"So easy", Gwaine joked as he pulled on the hem of his tunic. Arthur complied with the silent order by lifting up his hands in the air so that Avery could take it off. While she did strong hands tugged at the laces of his breeches. With deft fingers Gwaine undid the knots and he discarded the fabric, leaving Arthur stand naked between his lovers. How had they moved so fast? Not that he complained… "You too", he could not resist to order them to undress.

To see Avery stand naked before him had him blush and stare at her round curves in awe at once. She was beautiful, even though her body was marked by scars. "You can touch me", she offered with an open smile.

Arthur felt how Gwaine backed off to let him gently trace a finger along her curves. Her soft skin was warm to the touch. He reached the only hard part of her, the sensitive nipples of her round breasts. With gentle fingers he squeezed them and he smiled at how she moaned in answer. "Yes, that feels good."

"Bed", Gwaine's voice sounded husky and Arthur could not blame him, because he too felt turned on.

Lying down between them Arthur faced Avery and he continued his exploration of her skin. Firmer now he kneaded her breasts. "She is beautiful, isn't she?" Gwaine asked and he could only nod his answer. Even so Arthur realised that he missed something.

"Touch me", he asked Gwaine, half looking over his shoulder. "Need you."

"Soon, I want to see you both together first."

"Tease", Avery grinned, but she listened to his command all the same. Arthur found her lips on his and he answered the kiss with passion. So soft, almost too soft, she curled up closer to him. Her warm body felt nice against his, but to his regret Arthur found she did not quite stir him the way Gwaine did.

They came up for air and Arthur met her eyes, "I am sorry, I…"

He faltered when she nodded at his shyness in understanding. "Gwaine, it's too soon. We need you in the middle, love."

* * *

They looked so beautiful together that Gwaine could not tear his eyes from their naked bodies. Arthur, all golden skin and angles… and Avery with her bronze skin; they were everything he wanted. If only they wanted each other half as much, but Gwaine saw the shyness with which Arthur explored her and he knew it would not last. The kiss was hot, but as they pulled apart something was missing.

Avery's invitation for him to be in the middle did not come unexpected. In fact Gwaine had waited for it. Before, with Goodwin at the mansion, he had liked to get stuck in the middle too. It was the best place any man could be in. So with a smile and a quick move he slipped between his lovers and he pulled them close against his naked body.

"I thought you'd never ask", he joked to break the awkward tension that threatened to spoil the moment. "Do your worst", he then challenged with a wink to Avery.

Gwaine wasn't surprised when eager, strong hands wrapped around him from behind. Even as Avery pulled him in for a kiss he felt how Arthur trailed his hands down south, along his spine to tease sensitive skin. No one else knew it, but for every time Arthur took what he wanted without hesitation there was another time where he teased a man into a writhing ball of need. Today it seemed the King was in the mood for the latter and it had Gwaine shiver with anticipation.

A thumb brushed along a scar on his hip, but it no longer hurt. "They're healing", Arthur said, his lips brushing against the small of his back.

"Yes", Gwaine moaned when Arthur kissed him there, only to trail a path further south with his tongue. "Please", he encouraged his lover to continue.

"That's so hot", Avery whispered.

Gwaine met her eyes, "Feels like it."

"Stay where you are", she said while she lowered her head to nip along his jaw line.

"I…", Gwaine started, but Avery touched his lips with her index finger to silence him.

"Let us have you, Gwaine. All of you. We'll be alright." Even as she spoke Avery placed chaste kisses over his chest, moving down south far too slowly for Gwaine's liking.

His hand wrapped into her hair when she reached the hardness that rested against his abdomen. He took in a breath, which escaped in a moan of pleasure when she sucked the tip of him inside of her mouth tantalizing slow. Her tongue lapped at the precome gathered there. To tease him she retreated, only to take him inside her mouth as far and as fast as she could have him.

"Gods!" His cry was met with a snort from behind him. But before he could complain or chastise Arthur for laughing at his reaction his lover parted his cheeks to drag his tongue between them. To Gwaine's happiness he wasted no time in licking a trail towards his opening. The slick, wet warmth of lust spread out further when Arthur opened him up with his tongue. Unable to stop himself he reached behind him to rest a hand in the blonde locks of hair. "Please", he begged for more.

The dual assault of tongues had Gwaine writhe on the sheets. So fast they had taken him apart that it took his breath away. When they invited him to lie in the middle he had expected to be in charge, but now… it felt more like they took him apart. Damn, did it feel good. He had not felt this elated and at peace in days, if not for even longer. It had not been that he missed something when it was just Arthur and him, but now it was so much more.

"So close", he warned as the pleasure build. Could he just come from these wet licks and caresses? Gwaine did not know, but he had a feeling he was in danger of falling over the edge… and that wasn't what he wanted. "Please, Arthur. Need more, I need…"

"Got you", Arthur groaned behind him, while he pushed two spit slick fingers inside of him to ready him for more.

The sweet, burning friction had Gwaine roll back his hips. "More", he encouraged and to his joy his plea met with no hesitation. So well did Arthur know his body that he already curled his fingers against the spot that made Gwaine see stars. "Yes!"

Gwaine reached out to Avery then, grabbing her by the hips to roll her onto her back. "I want to be inside you when he takes me. Will you let me?"

Her eyes widened in lust, "Please, by all means…" Gwaine grinned at how she trailed off when his fingers found her wet centre. Two strokes and she shivered with need, a sign he found her bundle of nerves. Circling around it he made sure he caressed her there with every upwards stroke, just how he knew she enjoyed it best.

"So wet…", his intended dirty tease faltered when Arthur added another finger and pushed inside with the intent to play dirty. "Oh, to hell with it", he cursed at the way he could no longer fight his needs.

Turning his head he faced Arthur to kiss him on the lips. "I am ready", he offered with a wink. "Can you wait for my order?" When Arthur nodded with an eager that made Gwaine smile he kissed him again. "Thank you", he said to show Arthur he understood how his lover in some ways still felt out of his depth. "It will be worth it."

With some reluctance Gwaine moved away from Arthur's embrace. He turned to Avery to open her legs and bend the knees. Lying between them he pushed inside, like he had done many times in the past. The familiar smell and sight of her had him smile and bow down to kiss her. "Missed this", he moaned as he slid inside her wetness with ease.

Her hand slipped into his in answer, "Missed you too."

As she spoke Gwaine reached out behind him to seek contact with Arthur. Finding his hand and wrist he clasped them. "Do it", he offered then. "Take me deep, please Sire."

Strong hands grabbed his hips and Gwaine felt Arthur kneel behind him. His breath tickled against his ear shell when Arthur promised, "Anything for my favourite knight. I will make you beg for me and make up for lost time. Every moment wasted and every argument it took us to get there. We will forget them." The hard length pressing against his backside had Gwaine bow his head in readiness for what was to come next. Yes, he too was done with playing careful and ready to live in the moment again. Nothing would stop them from this union… nothing he could not fight and send away.

* * *

Avery looked up at the lovers kneeling above her. It felt so good to have Gwaine buried inside of her all the way to the hilt. He moved in nothing but shallow thrusts and she wanted him to beg for more, but she knew that he abided their time. Arthur would join them soon… when he had finished his teasing. She heard him whisper and it made her smile. Filthy promises spilled from his lips of how good he would make Gwaine feel and how he would tear them both apart with slow touches. Who knew the king had such a delightful, dirty mind?

"You wanted to be stuck in the middle… and so you will be", with these words he pushed inside of Gwaine. Avery felt how they joined in the way Gwaine pulled out of her a little to meet Arthur, only to be pushed forward even deeper by him. In one swift roll of hips they were together… all three of them. It took her breath away how far they had come. But she had no time to think, because Gwaine rolled his hips faster. Once more he retreated and once more he slipped back inside of her, caressing her from deep within.

A few awkward moves and the two men found a slow, maddening rhythm. She too moved to meet Gwaine on every thrust. Keeping her eyes locked on them she watched them kiss, their tongues duelling to fight dominance over the other… until finally with a sigh Gwaine submitted to Arthur.

"You two… so hot…", Avery managed between thrusts. "Do that again."

As if ordered they kissed once more, shorter and even more passionate now. Gwaine yelped when Arthur bit on his lower lip. Avery shook her head in amusement at the move. More than ever she saw how these men, her men, knew each other inside out. Every button they could touch they would push… and then some more.

She watched as Arthur pushed on Gwaine's back to make him bend over towards her some more. The change of angle had them all moan. Avery felt Gwaine slide inside of her even deeper and it made her toes curl in please. "Yes", she told Arthur she too enjoyed how he so subtly ruled their heated, slow love making.

"Take her, Gwaine. Show me how it's done." Avery blinked at the way Gwaine complied, by focussing more on her. His kisses rained along her breasts and he licked a path along her neck down to a nipple. The unexpected bite had her yelp in lust. Oh, how she loved it when he walked a fine line between pain and pleasure. His teeth trailed along the curve of a breast while his hand kneaded the other. The fire of need build up within her at the way he rolled his hips into her again, once more with a slight change of angle.

A third hand found her skin. Avery looked up at Arthur while his fingers slid between her legs to where Gwaine pushed into her. "Can I?"

Rendered speechless by his shyness Avery nodded. She smiled though when Gwaine's eyes too widened in surprise before he answered for them both by sitting up a little to make room for Arthur to explore her folds.

The fingers slipped further then, finding the centre of her need with an accidental brush. Her loud groan of raw pleasure though seemed to encourage Arthur not to stop. More sure now he searched for it again. Shivers of pure need sparked to life when he found the bundle of nerves again and he stroked her in wonder of her body. Avery moaned out loud, lost to the sensation of Arthur's still somewhat shy touches and the way Gwaine moved within her.

How could they have ever thought they could not work? Her lovers were so in tune to the other and both also so eager to please her that it drove her beyond simple pleasure. With every touch they brought her back to life, the pain of her past pushed far into the background. Arthur and Gwaine made love like they fought, with deadly precision and a passion to come out the winner.

Deeper and faster Gwaine pushed into her now. In the distance she felt him get taken by Arthur. So well they fitted together, the three of them, and Avery was lost to it.

The fingers playing with her most sensitive spot moved faster too, still in perfect tune to the pounding rhythm her two lovers set. Avery felt the edges blur and as she lost herself to the bliss that was her orgasm she shouted out both their names. Maybe they were not perfect together just yet, but she knew for sure now that she would return to Camelot safe in the knowledge that they would each fight to reach their common goal.

As she felt the men in her life come together above her Avery smiled up at them. Their choice was made. Today they had taken the first step onto the path of their shared future… the same destiny the wolf had set in motion and that Iseldir had foretold. The power of the triskelion had joined them and would keep them together, or at least this was what Avery wished more than anything in life…


End file.
